Page 75 of The Secret Mate Society

His head snapped up, those golden-flecked eyes meeting mine with such naked hope it made my chest ache.

Trevor cleared his throat awkwardly."I should...probably go."

Neither of us acknowledged him.I was too busy crossing the distance between Calder and me, my heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to escape.

"You do?"Calder's voice was barely above a whisper, rough with emotion.

"Yeah," I admitted, reaching for his hand."I don't understand it.It's crazy and too fast and completely illogical, but..."I swallowed hard, feeling like I was jumping off a cliff without knowing how deep the water below might be."I'm falling in love with you too."

The smile that broke across his face was like sunrise after the longest night, brilliant and warm and full of promise.He pulled me into his arms, holding me like I might disappear if he let go.

Trevor made another awkward sound."Okay, I'm definitely leaving now.Calder, don't forget what I said.We need to bring this to an endnow." The front door opened and closed with a decisive click, but I barely registered it.

"Did you mean it?"Calder asked against my hair, his arms still wrapped around me.Clearly he hadn’t heard anything Trevor had said either.

"Every word," I said, breathing in his leather-and-spice scent."But it scares the hell out of me."

He pulled back just enough to look at me."Why?"

"Because loving people… loving people doesn’t stop them from leaving someday," I said with a bitter laugh that didn't quite cover the pain."And I don't think I could survive losing you too."

Calder's expression softened, his hand coming up to cup my cheek."That's not going to happen, pup.I promise."

"You can't promise that," I whispered."Not with that thing out there.Not when it's already killed so many people."

His jaw tightened, determination flashing in his eyes."Watch me.I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, to protectus.I promise.”

The intensity in his voice sent a shiver down my spine.I wanted to believe him with every fiber of my being, but the rational part of my brain—the part that had kept me alive and searching for answers all these years—couldn't silence its doubts.

"But those people at the cider mill," I said, my voice breaking."They died because of me.Because that thing was hunting me and settled for them instead."

Calder's hands moved to grip my shoulders, his touch firm but gentle."Listen to me.You are not responsible for what that monster does.You didn't ask for any of this."

"Neither did they," I countered, the weight of guilt pressing down on me."They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.Because I was there."

"Ethan."The way he said my name was almost a physical caress."That thing has been killing long before you came to Portland.This isn't your fault."

I stepped away from him, needing space to think.My head was spinning with too many emotions—love, fear, guilt, confusion."How do you know so much about this?Really?And don't give me that support group story again.There's more to it."

Something flickered in his eyes… hesitation, maybe fear."I can't tell you everything.Not yet."

"Why not?"I demanded, frustration bubbling up."People are dying, Calder.I've spent fourteen years being told I was crazy, that what I saw wasn't real.And now you're telling me you know things, important things, but you can't share them?How is that fair?"

He ran a hand through his dark hair, looking genuinely tormented."It's not fair.None of this is fair.But there are...rules.Protocols.Things I'm not at liberty to discuss."

"Rules?"I laughed bitterly."What kind of rules prevent you from helping stop a murderer?"

"The kind that keeps even more people from dying," he said, his voice dropping to almost a growl."Trust me when I say that some secrets are kept secret for good reasons."

I stared at him, trying to read the truth in those golden-flecked eyes."Does this have something to do with what Trevor said?About thisCouncil?"

Calder went very still."You heard that?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose," I defended myself."But yeah, I heard him mention a Council.And something about using me as bait."A cold shiver ran through me at the memory."What Council, Calder?Who are these people?"

He closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering strength."They're...influential people.People who have knowledge about these creatures, who work to keep them contained."

"Like some kind of secret government agency?"Even as I said it, I knew how ridiculous it sounded.