Page 114 of With the Assist

“This is my plan.”

“It won’t last forever,” my mom says. “At some point, you have to decide what actually matters.”

This is the problem. They think that because my career is a sport, something that is mostly for others’ entertainment, that it is somehow less than. Mom’s charity work and Dad’s insurance firm are apparently far more prestigious. They don’t get it. They don’t even try to.

Delaney opens her mouth. “Okay,” she says quickly. “Who wants more potatoes?”

No one glances her way.

“I like my life,” I say. “I’m good at what I do.”

“You could be doing more,” Dad says.

“With what? Something you approve of? Just because it’s not what you would do doesn’t mean it’s not a valid path.”

The silence stretches as everyone moves the food around on their plate, never actually taking a bite. It seems that the appetites left the building at the same time civility did.

My phone buzzes again.

Wesley: Ouch. How long do you have to endure it?

For the rest of my life, I think. But before I can type it, my mom cuts in, talking over Delaney’s bid for peace.

“We worry,” she says. “You chase this game like it’ll love you back. But one day it will end, and you’ll have nothing if you don’t start prioritizing what’s important.”

Something in me goes still. It’s been ten years of reasoning and explanations, and it still falls on deaf ears. They will never understand that this is what’s important to me. I don’t have it in me to keep trying to get them to.

My chair scrapes softly against the floor as I stand.

“I’m sorry.” I turn to Delaney. “I didn’t mean to ruin dinner.”

Her eyes widen. “Nathan, wait.”

“I can’t do this tonight.” My voice sounds steadier than I feel. “I hope you all have a good Christmas.”

Dad looks stunned, and Mom looks offended, but neither of them stops me. They don’t want me here any more than I want to be here.

I grab my coat off the hook by the door and walk out, the cold air hitting my face and dulling the frustration that’s been building since I stepped inside.

Delaney will give me hell for walking out, but I can’t find it in myself to regret it. At some point, doing something I love needs to be enough. I need to be enough.

Once I’m in the car, my body melts into the seat. I turn it on, blasting the heat and waiting for it to warm. Mostly, I’m trying to calm down before I drive home to an empty penthouse that doesn’t feel like mine. I should’ve taken Liam up on the invite to his parents’ house.

I decide to text him and see if it’s too late. They only live five minutes away. When I pull my phone out, Wesley’s text that I haven’t responded to sits on the screen.

Me: Don’t have to endure it at all anymore. I left.

The reply comes fast.

Wesley: Jesus. I’m sorry. You okay?

I stare at the screen, heart still pounding. Does she really care? Or is she being polite? I hate that all I ever seem to do is doubt myself at every turn.

Me: Will be after a take-out burger and a good night’s sleep.

There’s a pause. I’m about to text Liam when the bubbles appear that let me know she’s typing.

Wesley: You could come here. If you want. As friends.