Page 26 of A Quiet Affection

“I hope,” Darcy said, “that you will continue to send me greetings in the letters from Georgiana, and I certainly shall send you messages with my letters to her, but—”

“No, no, no. I’ll not stand for that. No. There can be no purpose. No. What are you speaking of? What has proprietynowto do with anything? No. No. No.”

“You will be fifteen.”

Darcy was almost surprised that Elizabeth did not simply understand the rightness of what he was saying. It was obvious.

“No.”

“You certainly will be fifteen, and Miss Elizabeth, you must behave as such.”

“Or else I’ll be a worse burden on Jane?” Lizzy snapped back.

“You owe it to yourself to act in a manner that you will never be ashamed to confess to all the world. It is not proper for a single gentleman to correspond with a single woman without an engagement. Youknowthis.”

“Nonsense. I’m never going to marry. Why does it matter?”

“Of course you shall marry one day.”

“No, no, I shan’t. I shall be a burden forever. Jane’s burden, that is what she is determined for me to be. And who would marry me? I know that I am hideous. I don’t even want to marry.”

“Of course you will wish to marry; if not now, then you will in a year or two.”

“What Iwantis to continue writing letters to you. I…you know that they are important to me. I would miss them—I am your father’s ward. I am nearly your sister, am I not? And I am Georgiana’s second favorite person in the world, after you, and so there can be nothing improper.”

It was hard for Darcy to reply, because he noticed that there was something in him that didnotconsider Lizzy to be his sister. It was, in fact, that consideration and realization that had awakened him to the need to end their correspondence.

He also noted that Lizzy thought that Georgiana preferred her to their father, and he had no doubt that it was true.

“Well, do you agree? There can be nothing improper.” Lizzy challenged him. She stood, hands on hips. The black ribbon around her eyes stared at him. She would be beautiful.

“I hate to make you sad. But my honor and my duty require this.”

“Oh, damn you.” Lizzy said and then she started to sob.

Darcy put an arm around her shoulders. “Poor Lizzy. My poor, dear friend.”

“What, you’ll still call me Lizzy, not Miss Elizabeth?” She stood stiff, but then suddenly, when Darcy started to move away, she tightly embraced him and she cried into his coat. “You do not need to worry. I’ll never marry.”

“You will, I know it.”

“I am ugly.”

“You are not. And you are not a burden, and you know that you are not.”

“You will write something nice to me in every letter you send to Georgiana. Do you hear? In every single one.”

“I will.”

“Every single one! And I know I should not have usedthatword which girls are not supposed to use. You are thinking that, I know. But Iamthat sort of girl who knows the sorts of words that gentlemen and servants try to hide from us gentle-born girls. So you see, I really will never marry.”

“You shall, and I would not wish for my dear, dear friend to be anything different than she is.”

“Well, I would like to see once again, we are different in that. I would change myself at least a little.”

Darcy laughed.

“And I wish I wasn’t so ugly and scarred—”