Page 30 of A Quiet Affection

“And what are the arrangements that you mean to make for us to live?” George asked.

He took Jane’s hand and held it softly.

Jane was full of surprise and confusion.Shehad not had any suspicion that Mr. Darcy was dying, and her grief was difficult to control. But she knew that he wished her to maintain such poise as she could. But the way George held her hand felt odd now. He had often held her hand before, but never in quite this manner, and it made Jane uncomfortable for a reason she could not describe.

“I shall gift you the use of the dower house until you move to the Kympton parsonage when the living becomes available, and the house will pay for all the servants and necessaries, and the use of a carriage. Additionally, George, I mean to give you a thousand pounds, to support you, with the help of Jane’s fortune, in good lodgings in Cambridge when you return to finish your degree. I hope you will not be so unhappy if I ask you to sacrifice your studies and entertainments in Cambridge this year, so that we may be together so long as I am still alive.”

“I happily will sacrifice anything for you,” George replied fervently.

“Jane, I mean to give you two thousand pounds to supplement your fortune.”

“Thank you, sir,” Jane replied, wondering at this. She had always known that she would one day marry George, but it was odd and not pleasant that it was to be so soon. And sums of money meant very little to her.

“Now do say that you are very happy,” Mr. Darcy asked, smiling at her.

At this request Jane stammered, and then she said, “I hardly know what to think—I cannot be happy, while you are dying. Is it certain?”

Mr. Darcy smiled at her. “Completely. Or nearly so. I find I do not mind so much. Now off, you must wish to tell your sister—she shall live with you in the dower house. It will be good for her to have a good place for her to live when I am no longer here.”

Being told, not asked, that she would marry Mr. Wickham in a month’s time was not a deep shock. Jane had been asked by Mr. Darcy the previous year, shortly after her sixteenth birthday, how well she liked George. When she had told him the truth, which was that she liked him quite well, Mr. Darcy had repliedthat she need not worry about attaching herself to him, and that while matters could not be settled for a long time, she need not worry about any such attachment in material terms.

Even before that conversation, Jane had always fancied herself to admire George Wickham greatly, and to maybe even be in love with him. It would have been odd if she had not. This encouragement from Mr. Darcy, who she had always held in the greatest respect, and who she thought of as a father, made it impossible for Jane to not enjoy happy imaginations of being Mrs. George Wickham one day.

Yet, for some reason, she had never spoken about this notion to Lizzy, and she found that rather than joy, she was filled with anxiety now that she was told that the marriage would become a reality.

It must be because her heart was chiefly occupied with the terrible news that Mr. Darcy was dying. Something important was being torn from her, and she recalled all the pain of those months after Papa and Mama had died.

When Elizabeth heard from Jane that she would marry Wickham, she said all that was appropriate at the situation.

Despite that, Elizabeth had a strong sense that her sister had made a poor choice. Perhaps Wickham’s expectations were a match for the fortune that Jane had, but Elizabeth did not think much of him. There was a falseness to the way he talked, and a sort of repetitiveness to his compliments. He showed little application, much vanity, and he had no proper pride. He was the opposite of Fitzwilliam, whom Elizabeth had long set as her model of what a young gentleman ought to be.

However, this news, that Elizabeth had half expected for a long time, did not remind her about the time three years before that she had heard George engaged in carnal relations with a kitchenmaid. Perhaps if she had recalled it, she would have attempted at this time to convince Jane to not marry Mr. Wickham. More likely not.

Elizabeth considered Wickham’s defects plainly obvious, and if Jane was not to be dissuaded by those visible in his home manner and behavior, why would she be dissuaded by learning that he had once engaged in a behavior that Elizabeth expected every young gentleman to have engaged in at some time or another?

In truth, Elizabeth’s never forgotten fondness forTom Jones, Tristram Shandy, Shamela,and various shocking stories from the histories of the Roman emperors meant that she assumed that every gentleman had intimate experience with the gentler sex, at least if they were sufficiently capable of appealing to a woman as to be of interest.

Except Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth was quietly confident thathewould never behave in an immoral manner.

What surprised Elizabeth was being informed that she would move in with them as soon as they were married. Or at least as soon as they returned from the honeymoon.

“No, move in with you? Leave Pemberley?”

“Dear Lizzy, it is natural. I am your closest relation, and Wickham will be your brother.”

Possibly Elizabeth’s sour feelings about such a brother showed in a sour expression, for Jane added in a defensive tone, “He is charming, and good natured, and you cannot deny that.”

“I said nothing about him.”

“It is only that you cannot see him,” Jane said, “so you cannot know how excellent his features are, and how very good hiscomportment is. You would not then doubt that I am lucky to be marrying him.”

Had Elizabeth been a better friend to Jane at this time, she would have detected in this speech thatJanevery much doubted that she was lucky, and that the seventeen-year-old girl spoke to convince herself.

Instead, Elizabeth replied with sharpness, “I have already given my congratulations.Ido not like him much, but that does not signify. I am sure, as I said already, that you are verylucky. You have always been verylucky.”

“If I could take your eyes, and your scars, and give them to myself, you know that I would,” Jane replied sincerely. “Please do not doubt it.”

Elizabeth knew Jane well enough to not doubtthat.