Page 40 of A Quiet Affection

“Yes, sir.” Tears came to Wickham’s eyes. He brushed them away. He was glad that Mr. Darcy would allow him to shed them, even though he despised seeing tears in himself and in his children. “But what do you mean for me to do, if I am not to take on the pastoral role? What can I do?”

“Perhaps your father’s duties? Except no. No. That would be impossible. Fitzwilliam must have a steward who he trusts and loves, as I have trusted and loved your father. I do not believe that you would be that man. And it would not be kind to him to keep Jane forever so near him.”

“No, sir.”

“What do you think of the law?”

Wickham frowned. Was there any alternative? Those who succeeded at the law were known for obsessively reading, for a capability to memorize massive minutiae, and an ability to ingratiate themselves with those gentlemen who had legal business.

Only one of these tasks appealed to Wickham.

“No, no,” Mr. Darcy said contemplatively. “You will not like the law. Such a pity in that. But I cannot bear to send you into the army. Not when we are at war, and officers are killed in such great numbers. No, my heart could not bear that. And medicine or some sort of trade would be beneath our consequence. Besides, they are best for persons bred to them. I have no pull with any ministry such that it would be easy for me to get you a sinecure. It must be the law, I think.”

“But maybe—” Wickham fell silent.

“Go call your father to join me.” Mr. Darcy waved him away. “Do not worry. I’ll make sure you have enough that you and Jane can live in comfort without you becoming a notable success. It shall be a deuced sight more expensive than if I could put you in the church, but the loss of that money is what Fitzwilliam deserves for burdening me with such concerns at this time.”

Chapter Eleven

Elizabeth was not surprised when Fitzwilliam stepped into the nursery while Miss Wilson quizzed Georgiana about the name of each sort of metal.

Georgiana’s happy squeal as she ran to her brother’s arms was much as expected.

As Fitzwilliam listened to Georgiana hurriedly exclaim about how well he looked, and how much she had missed him, Elizabeth waited with desperate dread. Had he broken up Jane and Wickham’s engagement by offering himself as an alternative suitor?

In general, Elizabeth would not credit Jane abandoning a fiancé for a wealthier man, but this was Fitzwilliam. Any woman would be fit for Bedlam if they did not accept his offer of marriage. And Jane had always been hesitant and almost unhappy when she spoke about the marriage and Wickham.

Fitzwilliam said while he still held Georgiana, “I must immediately be off to Matlock. Papa has sent me there; he wishes me to speak with our uncle, and to see Richard while he is there.”

There was a strong repressed emotion in his voice. Anger. Grief.

Elizabeth relaxed. It was like the sensation of falling down a set of stairs and then catching oneself on the banister.

Mr. Darcy had sent Fitzwilliam away so that he could not interfere with Jane and Wickham’s wedding. Of course. Mr. Darcy would think that Jane was below the expectations that he had for his son, and he would hate the prospect of the scandalthat his son marrying a woman who had broken an engagement for his sake would cause.

Elizabeth hated that she was happy that Fitzwilliam was not happy.

She should be unhappy along with him. If she was good, she would want his every dearest wish to be fulfilled. But she couldn’t.

She wasn’t good in that way.

“He has sent you away also?” Georgiana said. “He hates us both? I thought he only hated me. I am happier to know this.”

“He does not hate us,” Fitzwilliam said. “He only...”

“He hates me. Why else would he—” Georgiana started crying. “He won’t even let you stay to see me off! He hates me. He does. I hate him too. I’m glad he’s dying!”

“Don’t say that!” Darcy exclaimed. “Never saythat.”

Elizabeth embraced Georgiana. “What happened when you spoke to him about Jane?”

Darcy grunted. “Words were spoken. I can say nothing else. I’ve sworn an oath to say nothing else. But you shall have a very pleasant brother-in-law. The sort of man who everyone wishes in their family. I wish you all the joy of a Wickham. Lord! Lizzy, forgive me. I hardly know myself. I had expected grief, but this…I must leave within ten minutes if I shall reach Matlock before it is too dark to see.”

“You are going so soon,” Georgiana moaned. “I didn’t mean that. Don’t hate me too. I didn’t mean it. I don’t want Papa to die.”

Fitzwilliam embraced his sister. “I know you do not. It is easy to disappoint Papa. He does not tolerate our imperfections so well, though he delights in those of others.”

With light footsteps another person entered the room. Elizabeth thought it was Jane from how her slippers sounded.