Page 75 of A Remarkable Rogue

“Some of us do.” She longed to show him how well she could ride. Inexplicably, she wanted him to be proud of her, even though he had no idea who she was.

Stilling, he sent a puzzled glance at Miss Jenner. Except for the elderly Mrs. Larkin and the handful of maids in the house, the mousey governess comprised the only female role model in his life, and most likely Miss Jenner didn’t ride.

“No, I don’t think so.” He swung his legs again in wide arcs beneath the chair. “I’d rather ride with the captain by myself. Just him and me and Aggie.”

Her throat tightened. She was unprepared for the pierce of that rejection, yet she somehow kept her smile from faltering. “All right. Just the men, then.”

He nodded as if that resolved all the problems about ladies on horseback. “Just the men.”

“Perhaps we can play a game later in the garden.”

Thatpricked his interest. “A game? What kind?”

“How about pall-mall?” That sounded like a fine idea. There must be a set somewhere at the house.

“Pall-mall?” He scrunched up his face. “I don’t know that game.”

“I can show you how to play.” Her heart leapt at the thought that she might be able to teach her son anything, even a simple game. “It’s great fun, I promise.”

His mouth screwed up dubiously. “I don’t know…”

“You get to hit balls with mallets,” she tempted in a flagrant attempt at boy bribery. Boys liked to hit things, she’d been told. What could be better than whacking with mallets?

His face lit up. “Truly?”

“Truly.”

He laughed. “Deuces!”

“Robbie.” Miss Jenner finally broke free from her reverie and frowned at him, although Sydney suspected the frown had been on her face before the boy’s excited outburst. “Voices down, please. And I’ve told you before, gentlemen do not use that word.”

“Yes, miss.”

“Please stop fidgeting.”

“Yes, miss.”

Sydney ached with jealousy as she watched the interaction between the two. Miss Jenner knew more about being a mother and raising a child than she did, and she’d given birth to the boy. Was it too late for her? Could she ever learn to be the proper mother Robbie deserved?

Or would she be a terrible mother, just like her own?

Her hands trembled, and she dropped them to her lap to hide them before Robbie noticed. He tended to notice everything.

“We’re going to smash things with hammers!” Robbie announced.

Miss Jenner went impossibly paler and looked toward Sydney for explanation. “Beg pardon?”

“Not hammers, Robbie, but mallets,” Sydney explained self-consciously. “Pall-mall.”

“Oh.” Miss Jenner breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table.

Sydney awkwardly placed her napkin beside her plate. Oh, how she wished Nate were here! He always interacted so easily with Robbie, proving to her that he was the natural-born parent she wasn’t.

Her chest squeezed with a flicker of grief for him. His own son would have been just three years younger than Robbie if the boy had lived. When she looked at her son, she was reminded of Michael and the pain of losing him. What did Nate see when he looked at Robbie?

“I’m pleased that my dress fits you, my lady.”