Page 39 of Honey, I'm Home

Earl

This is not what I want to be doing with my time. I cannot stress this enough. When I was approached to provide a service tonight, I thought it would be like any other event here in town. The townspeople would dance, they would eat, they would mate, and then they'd be on their way, I'd be paid and would do the same.

Instead, I'm dealing with this bullshit.

The moment things started to go sideways for the newly paired townspeople, I got nervous. Being gifted with the ability to shift into anything made of wood at will is weird, sure, but it definitely pays the bills.

You need a big fancy Christmas tree for the town center? I'm your man. I just stand out there during peak hours and grow a few baubles, and I'm good to go.

You need an ornate wood trellis for a garden party for you and your friends? No problem. A cute little wooden dais with backdrop to be the centerpiece of your mating ceremony? Really why I got into this line of work.

The woman that was part of the ceremony tonight seemed a bit tense as she walked around me, and I could sense her energy throughout the crowd as well. You see, after you stand on me for a bit, I get pretty good at recognizing you.

The trouble that occurred was definitely unfortunate; what seemed like some sort of governing party for the bee shifters appearing uninvited, trying to block love? Not on my watch.

If everything hadn't been handled so peacefully the way it was, if the offending party hadn't backed off so quickly, I would have gotten involved. I was seconds away from doing something to ensure the mated group got their special day.

Everything seemed to calm down after that though, even after I moved over here and changed form to be the center of attention for the reception. But like I said, our lovely bride never seemed quite relaxed enough.

As soon as the last groom stepped off of me to pursue his woman, I got myself ready in case I was needed. A lot of the time when you're dealing with people that aren't from Trash Haven, the element of surprise is your most powerful weapon. Everybody in the crowd knows who I am, I'm as old as dirt and I've been involved with basically every life event this town has had since I moved here so many years ago. This is my family.

When somebody threatens my family, I don't take that lightly. Especially when the family in question is three harmless little honeybees just trying to celebrate their new queen.

I couldn't tell exactly what was happening when the screams first started, so I shifted enough to regain my sight so that Imay watch and make a plan if needed. To my horror, it was the ground itself that began the attack.

Soft patches of earth begin to implode, allowing a vast network of angry bees to insert themselves right into the middle of the lovely party that I helped create. These bees were not docile like the ones I'm here to support, no. They were angry and immediately gave me a deep-rooted headache.

With the crowd distracted by the ground attack, a greater threat presented itself. A human-sized honeybee wearing a gods-awful crown dropped from the sky, right in front of our bride.

I am unsure why the three groomsmen are unable to get up and assist their lovely mate, but clearly, they have been tampered with, because I can sense them lying prostrate against their will.

I love nothing more than watching the citizens of Trash Haven find their happily ever afters, so I do not hesitate to insert myself right into the middle of the drama. I figure the best way to be helpful is to—ah, shit. Somebody definitely just lit me on fire in their mad dash to help. Excuse me for a moment, would you?

Chapter 18

Aster

This is surely part of the trials we're expected to face. If it's not and this was not planned by anybody here, it sure as hell better count. If it was planned by somebody in town, they better be ready to face my wrath.

I knew there was a reason I was on guard all night. I knew this bitch hadn't given up quite yet. “I just want you to know you look absolutely ridiculous like that.”

The human sized honeybee looks at me with her multitude of eyes, assessing me.

Her diversion technique was highly effective; I'll give her that. I don't even know how she got all those bees to hide under the ground like that, or tunnel through it as the case might have been, but I'm sure she had help from somebody. Whether or not that was somebody from this town or not remains to be seen.Right now, I need to make sure these men I’ve waited so long for don't get kidnapped by this enormous furry beast.

“You only think I look ridiculous because you do not have a form like I do. You wish you could look this good,” she says in a voice that sets my teeth buzzing. Yeah, I don't like that at all.

“I don't know what you plan to accomplish here tonight, other than breaking treaties even more and getting your entire colony in hot water by your selfish actions, but in case you haven't noticed, I've already won. Hawthorne, Dev, and Arbor are safe from your clutches, and your evil snatch.”

She stalks toward me, her enormous furry ass shaking as she does. It's a clear threat, which activates my own magic which I'm hoping she's unaware of. Hell, my own mates were unaware of it, so I'm pretty sure this is a safe bet.

I can't see any of my mates, but the biggest threat is in front of me, so I keep my attention there. There were plenty of people in the crowd that I'm sure will do the right thing and look out for the guys if needed.

“This furry virgin snatch needs to be mated by 15 drones for me to claim my inheritance. If I cannot wrangle enough drones, I will not be granted a mating flight, and I will not gain my inheritance. The next princess behind me will get my spot instead and I will be banished. So, I don't care if you think you've already won them over; you are no match for a True Queen Bee when she calls to her drones.

“Their whole purpose in life is to mate with a queen bee. It's what their systems are wired for. All I need to do is get close enough for them to sense me and you'll see how fickle their affections are. But don't worry; once I get their ejaculate, you can have them back. I don't actually want them; I just need their DNA. But I'm sure you understand that they’ll need to come withme tonight? I'll pop them in the mail in a nice little crate when my ceremony is over. If they survive the mating, that is. It’s not usually such a good prognosis. But hey, great wedding!”

This cannot be happening. I am not secure enough in my non-beeness to ignore her claims completely. I know the rational part of my guys’ minds that are able to reason and think and love would choose me over anybody else in the world, but they're not in their right minds at all right now. Clearly Princess Dearest has done something to them. Tranqued them or something like they did before.