Page 46 of Puppy Christmas

“Can you, um, enlighten me as to what, exactly, a lizard person is?” he ventured. “Are we talking about cute little geckos or, like, full-on Gila monsters?”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m partial to those blue-tailed ones that dart around here in summer, but it always freaks Emily out when their tails fall off.”

“I’m serious, Ford.”

“About being a lizard person?” He shrugged. “That works for me. Just please keep your tail on whenever Emily is around. I can’t be held responsible for what might happen otherwise. The last time we saw a lizard lose that part of its anatomy, she made us hold a funeral for the tail in the backyard. I shudder to think what will happen if it gets accidentally unearthed.”

It would forever baffle him how he missed all the incoming signs. Maybe it was that he was so much out of practice that he’d lost the ability to sense a woman’s interest. Perhaps it was the fact that he was suddenly picturing Princess Lila and her braided whip transforming into a lizard to bring down the likes of Krampus and all other foes in her path. Whatever the reason, her lips were pressed against his before he knew what was happening.

For the first ten seconds or so, that was all right with him. Being caught so far off guard was a novel experience—and a delightful one. His back hit one of the wooden beams, Lila pressing intimately against him as her mouth sought purchase with his.

This is no cold lizard woman, he thought as he sagged and parted his lips to let her in. There was little else he could do when there were so many soft, round parts touching him. Especially not when the rest of his senses were in such a whirl of contradictions. Her scent was still enticingly fruity, which made him think she’d taste the same way, but nothing could have been further from the truth. Her mouth was a little minty and a little sweet, a whole lot warm.

It was the heat that undid him the most. He didn’t know how or why, but everywhere she touched him left a lingering scorch that burned through to his blood. He should have kissed her back, allowed his tongue to war with hers and give as good as he got, but he didn’t. He just stood there and let her have her wicked way with him.

It was a little mortifying, to be honest. The first time he’d kissed a girl under these bleachers, he’d been terrified and wholly out of his depth. He’d also enjoyed the hell out of himself. In fact, he’d resolved, in those heady, glorious hours afterward, that he’d do his utmost to ensure that every kiss thereafter was just as magical for his partner as it was for him.

Yet here he was, standing still, terrified and wholly out of his depth.

Damn, but that woman knew how tokiss. He was starting to get the impression there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do.

“Oh my God.” She pulled away just as suddenly as she’d kissed him, the back of her hand pressed to her mouth as if in horror. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes were wide and her color flushed, both of which Ford found immensely attractive, if only because they proved his theory. When Lila lost control, it was a glorious thing for all those lucky enough to be involved. He wanted to tell her exactly that—that there was nothing to be sorryfor, that she was welcome to attack him under the bleachers any time she wanted—but his tongue clove oddly to the roof of his mouth.

“Please forget this ever happened,” she added. “It was so unprofessional of me, so inappropriate, so—”

Just as he was finally able to unstick his tongue and start making human sounds again, Emily and her entourage returned to the gymnasium. From the multiple voices filling the cavernous space—including the youthful pipings of Helen’s sons—he was guessing the entourage had undergone an expansion.

“And then Princess Dawn dropped three plates—bam,bam,bam! But they didn’t break, ’cause Daddy made her use the plastitics ones.”

“Theplasticones,” came the gruff correction from Principal Brown.

“That too,” Emily said proudly. “Want me to show you how to do it?”

Ford assumed the answer was a negative, since no projectiles started flying through the air. Not that he could blame Principal Brown for declining the honor. Even from his limited vantage point, he could see that in addition to Byron and Neil, who were trailing behind Jeeves, there looked to be two more adults added to the party.

Lila noticed them, too. She clutched at his hand with an urgency that made him laugh. “Don’t you dare say a word,” she said in a low-toned murmur. “No one can know we’re down here.”

“We can hardly hide forever,” he pointed out. Rather reasonably, he thought. As enticing as the idea of Lila holding his hand in a confined space was, they would eventually have to eat. And pee. That basketball shoe might hold a little overflow, but…

“We can at least hide until they leave,” Lila hissed. “Why, oh why do I let you goad me into these things?”

“Is that what I did? I had no idea I was so persuasive. Was it the kissing or the hiding that I drove you to with my enticing ways?”

“Neither one. Both. Oh, what does it matter?” As if just noticing that their hands were entwined, she released her grip. She also glared at him as thoughhewas the one doing the hand-holding. “You know, you could at least pretend to be enjoying yourself a little less.”

“I could, but I’ve never been very good at pretending. Everything I say and do is the honest truth.”

Even her snort of indignation carried a hint of elegance.

“When you come to know me better, you’ll realize I’m serious. I’m always serious. Like our illustrious founding father, I cannot tell a lie.”

“George Washington was a slave owner and a misogynist.”

“Yes, but at least he washonestabout it.”