Page 73 of A Thousand Little Goodbyes

With a strength she didn’t know she had, Scarlett lifted the baby and put her into Chrissie’s waiting arms.

“Scarlett…” Chrissie began, but there was nothing she could say. This was what they’d decided on. This was what Scarlett wanted.

The moment her arms were empty, Scarlett felt the absence of the baby as a physical ache so deep that she wondered if it was a wound that would ever heal. Almost—almost—she asked for her back. But when she saw the way Chrissie’s whole body went soft, the way the two of them looked at each other, she knew she’d made the right choice.

“I’m sorry, Kitty Kat,” she said again, this time with her normal voice. She waited until Chrissie’s gaze caught hers before saying the one thing that meant more than all the rest—the one thing that had haunted her ever since her own mom had walked out on her and neverlooked back.

It was a mother’s abandonment, an escape. An act of cruelty and love so intertwined that Scarlett finally found a way to forgive.

“I don’t have it in me to take care of you, so I’m doing the next best thing. I’m giving you to someone who can.”

Chapter Twenty-FiveTranquility Estates, Vermont

Present Day

“I had no idea you were such a horse girl. Your parents missed a serious opportunity when they put you in piano instead of dressage.”

Chrissie pulled on the reins and gently murmured “whoa,” as she’d been instructed. The horse she was sitting atop—a brown, silken creature with a glorious mane and the even more glorious name of Shadowfox—immediately came to a halt and whinnied.

“I didn’t know I was a horse girl, either,” she confessed as she took the hand being offered her and slid down from the horse. The stable hand, a gruff, grizzled man who walked with a limp and could have been anywhere from forty to eighty years old, grunted and began leading the animal away before Chrissie could book another appointment to ride the animal.

She suspected that the horses were actually supposed to be for the patients of the facility, part of the entire line of therapeutic relaxation offerings that included a spa, hot baths, sunrise yoga, group talk sessions, and art classes, but Scarlett had taken one look at the massive,heaving animal and decided to watch from a comfortable Adirondack chair overlooking the corral.

“Well, I think you should take up riding when you get back home,” Scarlett said. Before Chrissie could say anything, she added, “And no, that’s not me trying to order your life from beyond the grave. It’s just a suggestion. Medford probably has lots of good stables to choose from. You know how people in small towns get about horses. They’re all one step removed from going full Wyatt Earp.”

Chrissie nodded, unable to voice the protest that was bubbling up inside her throat. For some reason, setting foot at this place had deflated any and all of the arguments that had sprung up between them over the past few days.

Maybe it was how warmly they’d been greeted at the gates and shown to their private cabin, or perhaps it was the way they’d immediately been visited by a hospice nurse who had a full working knowledge of Scarlett’s medical history, prognosis, and end-of-life plans, but for the first time since Chicago, Chrissie felt as if she was standing on solid ground again.

“I might just do that,” she agreed. “Well? What’s next? A dip in the pool? A tour of the grounds? A nap?”

Scarlett pulled a face at that last one. “I’ve never taken a nap that wasn’t medically enforced, and I’m not about to start now.” Her frown deepened. “And I wish you’d stop agreeing with everything I say. If you don’t want to ride horses, then don’t. I’m not holding a gun to your head.”

Chrissie tried not to react to that, either, but considering where they were, it wasn’t easy.

“Ha!” Scarlett pounced—in a purely metaphorical way, of course. Thanks to the prescription she’d picked up from the on-site pharmacy, which included not only the drugs she would eventually take in the quiet of her cabin but also a host of other things designed to ease herdiscomfort, she was more languid and relaxed than Chrissie had ever seen her. “See? Youarestill mad at me. I think we should go to the soundproof room and scream for a while. The intake specialist said it can be very helpful.”

Chrissie busied herself with brushing the horse hairs from her jeans. She didn’t make much progress, but at least she was able to buy herself a few seconds to gain her bearings.

“If you’d like to scream, I’m more than happy to go with you. But I do all of my screaming on the inside like a lady, thank you.”

Scarlett laughed and allowed Chrissie to help her to her feet. She was once again wearing her beige cashmere sweat suit and oversized sunglasses, looking so much like a waifish and chic millionaire that italmostfelt like they were staying at some upscale rehab facility instead of a place where majestic horses and scream rooms gently ushered you to your death.

“That’s the most accurate description of you I’ve ever heard,” Scarlett said as she linked her arm in Chrissie’s. She rested her head on Chrissie’s shoulder with a sigh. “It’s nice here, right? You don’t hate it? You don’t want to leave?”

“I hate it with every cell in my body,” Chrissie said. “But no, I don’t want to leave.”

There wasn’t much more to say after that. According to the hospice nurse, they were free to use the facilities as much or as little as they wanted. Their cabin was private and entirely their own for the duration of their stay. Room service was included whenever they wanted it, the doctor could be visited at any time, and therapy sessions were offered around the clock. The only thing that differentiated it from an all-inclusive resort was that when the time came to check out, only Chrissie would be leaving through the front door.

“Oh! Ms. Thomas. There you are. I thought I might find you out in the stables. Everyone always seems to want to start here.” One of thestaff members, a short, ponytailed woman in a blue polo shirt bearing the Tranquility Estates logo, came bustling up to them with a clipboard in her hand. “I was able to book the extra cabin, as you requested. We’re also happy to move you to one of the bigger rentals, if you’d all prefer to stay under one roof. It’s entirely up to you, of course. I just need two signatures here and here.”

Chrissie took the pen being offered her and braced for the incoming storm. When it didn’t come, she took a few extra seconds pretending to read through the fine print on the form. When itstilldidn’t come, she plastered a bright smile on her face and handed the pen back.

“And you’re sure about the pet policy?” she asked.

“Oh, yes. Lots of our guests prefer to have their four-legged friends with them at the end. One man even brought his eight-legged friend. I can’t say Ienjoyedcatching grasshoppers and crickets for a tarantula’s dinner, but it’s all part of what we do here.” She checked and nodded at Scarlett. Some of the false brightness dimmed to be replaced with a genuine smile. “If you need anything, Ms. Sanderson, just say the word. No request is off-limits.”

The woman took herself off then, pausing only to share a few words with the grizzled stable hand. Scarlett waited until she disappeared from view before turning toward Chrissie. She looked so much like her grandmother, what with the purse of her lips and annoyed crinkles around her eyes, that Chrissie felt all the unfairness of the situation rushing back to her.