Page 89 of The Noble Servant

“What were their names?”

“Mertein and Claus.”

“The best friend I ever had was Avelina—Lady Thornbeck—butI only was able to be with her for two weeks. She promised she would send a group of guards to escort me to visit her after her baby was born. But then I sent her a letter telling her I was going to marry you.” Without pausing, she stood. “Shall we go on the rest of the way? It cannot be much farther, can it?”

“No, not much.”

They were quiet the rest of the way up. He could hardly wait to show her the view from the top.

He did not even have to use his key, as the door was slightly ajar. He pushed it open, and once they were inside, he locked the door behind them.

“No one ever comes up to this room, but there is also a secret hiding place, which I will show you later.”

The room was relatively clean, in spite of being unused for so long. Some broken furniture and other clutter—old clothing and a couple of trunks, some tools and some paintings—were stacked against the wall.

She started toward the window. She had already noticed the view. “Oh, it is beautiful from up here.”

All the windows had been inset with glass several years before, but the thick panes caused a somewhat distorted view.

“Better to see it unobstructed.” He used considerable force on the metal clasp. It finally gave way, and the window swung outward on its hinge, opening a one-foot-wide by three-feet-high space, letting in the cold evening air.

“I can hear the sea. That sound is so different from anything I’ve heard before.” Magdalen leaned on the windowsill and let her head hang out. She brought her head back in quickly. “I don’t suppose it’s wise of me to let anyone see us up here.” She grimaced. “But I can hardly wait to see what it looks like in the morning light.”

Air filled his lungs at her delighted smile. How could he bear to let her leave after this was over? Could she ever love him? He kept remembering her joy at not ever having to marry. How much time did he have to talk to her before Lord and Lady Thornbeck would arrive, ready to save her from her nightmare? How soon would her mother come with her own men to take her back to Mallin?

He turned away from her. “I’ll go find some food for us.”

“Are you sure that’s safe?”

“I will do my best to avoid anyone seeing me. The only people who should be roaming around the castle this time of night are the guards, and there shouldn’t be many of those.”

“Be careful.”

“I can only lock and unlock the door from the outside. I’ll try to come back as soon as possible.”

She suddenly put her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I will pray for you.”

“Thank you.” He hugged her in return until she pulled away. But then he kissed her cheek, just as he had done a few mornings ago.

His heart pounding, he turned away before he could see her reaction.

He had two choices before she left Wolfberg. He could simply bid her farewell, or he could ask her to stay forever. But he was sweating just thinking about it.

Magdalen searched through the things in the room until she found an old tarp and a sheepskin and a few old, worn blankets.She used them to make two beds for them, along with the blankets in their bags they had brought with them. Oh, how long it had been since she’d had a proper bath and clean bedding! For this alone Lord Hazen deserved to be punished.

As she lay on the floor looking up through the window at the sky, Magdalen’s mind was fixed on Steffan. It had seemed so wise for her to keep her feelings about him a secret. After all, what could she say?I think if you loved me, I could love you too?That she would like to marry him because she thought he was a good, kind man and she felt this strange longing for him?

She could not say any such things. Nor would she. She would not humiliate herself over a man who had once told her people should marry for a better reason than love.

Then why did he kiss her on the cheek, twice? Some families, certainly, were more affectionate than her own. Her mother never kissed her, but she and Avelina had kissed each other on the cheek. Magdalen kissed her sisters on the cheek sometimes. Perhaps Steffan thought of her as a sister and that was why he kissed her. But she had met Steffan’s sister, and Gertrudt had not seemed particularly affectionate.

Her mind and heart were full of him. “Oh God,” she whispered, “take this longing out of my heart, or let him care for me as much as I care for him.”

Three soft raps came at the door, then she heard the key clicking inside the lock, and the heavy wooden door opened.

“I brought some food.” Steffan entered and opened his bag. “Oh, you made us beds.” He smiled.

He sat beside her, and they ate and drank and then lay down.