Page 76 of The Good Fortune of Miss Robbins

I wondered how mothers were able to cope, and I blessed Gretchen and Hannah and the help they were to me as the children played and made noise, needed help with various things, and occasionally quarreled. But the next day, when all the children went to spend the night at Lord Brookhaven’s townhouse, it was so quiet and dull, I wondered what to do with myself.

I dreaded sitting at home and waiting for callers the next day, so I made sure to be out, showing Hattie some of the London sights that she hadn’t seen, including St. Paul’s Cathedral, Westminster Abbey, and the Tower of London, which I knew would be too tiring and dullan outing for the children, and it would take up all of the hours for callers. Millicent and Mrs. Drake came along as well, of course. But every time Mrs. Drake complained about missing callers, how we should go home, how her feet hurt, how handsome Mr. Welton was, what a great match he and I would make, and what a great family the Weltons were, my desire to replace her as my companion increased. In fact, I planned to ask Lady Derringer if she knew of anyone else who might be suitable for the position.

First, I should probably speak with Mrs. Drake in private, again, about the fact that I had already refused Mr. Welton and there was no instance in which I would change my mind. I didn’t think it would make a difference to her, but I felt it my duty to try. Thankfully, she thought that I had refused Mr. Merritt already, for I was sure if she knew that I was still considering it, she would begin to tell me of all the ways in which Mr. Welton was Mr. Merritt’s superior.

I myself had only viewed the Tower of London from a distance, but in touring it, I was caught up in its history and the beauty of its buildings. There were moments when it reminded me of Lowndesbury House so much that I felt an ache in my chest.

When the sun was about to set, it felt safe to return home, and it was quite dark when we arrived. We went in to find several calling cards. There was Mr. Welton’s card, Mr. Merritt’s, and three other gentlemen’s cards with whom I’d danced. And there was Lord Markeley’s calling card.

Millicent’s face lit up when she saw it. “Do you think he will return tomorrow? Oh, I hope so. What bad luck that we were out when he called.”

“I’m sorry we missed him, Millicent.”

“Oh, it’s all right, Charlotte. I just ... I’m sure he will return.”

But I could see how disappointed she was. I only hoped she didn’t break her heart over him.

“I know!” Millicent’s eyes widened. “We could have a dinner party and invite Lord Markeley, Mr. Merritt, and Lord Brookhaven. It would be just like the house party at Lowndesbury House!”

“Oh, I don’t know...” When I saw Millicent’s hurt expression, I murmured, “I’m just not sure it’s a good idea for me to invite Mr. Merritt.”

Mrs. Drake was doing some embroidery across the room, and I hoped she couldn’t hear me. But since Millicent and Hattie knew about Mr. Merritt’s proposal, I didn’t have to explain myself.

When Millicent’s face fell, I relented. “I suppose I could. After all, I can’t avoid him forever. I’ll need to give him an answer soon.”

“Give Mr. Merritt an answer?” Mrs. Drake had dropped her work in her lap and was staring at me with narrowed eyes. “Did you not already refuse his proposal of marriage?”

I forced away the frown that pulled at my face. “I have not given him an answer.”

“That is a bit cruel, do you not think? To keep the man waiting?”

“Perhaps. But I haven’t decided whether or not to accept.”

“Hmph.” Then she picked up her work and mumbled what sounded like, “And what makes Mr. Merritt more worthy than Mr. Welton, pray tell?”

“Pardon me, what did you say?”

“Nothing at all.” Mrs. Drake did not look up.

By the next day, Millicent had talked me into giving a dinner party and inviting Lord Markeley, Lord Brookhaven, Mr. Percy Allen, whom we’d discovered was in town, and Mr. Merritt. But as soon as I sent the invitations, Mr. Merritt called on us.

He made eye contact with me less frequently, but otherwise he was his usual self. He was handsome, there was no doubt about it, but somehow, the more I looked at him, the harder it was to imagine myself married to him. And if I was honest, when I asked myself who I did imagine myself married to, it was always Lord Brookhaven who came to mind.

Of course I knew that was never to be, and yet it was difficult to give up hope.

We’d barely said our greetings and pleasantries when Millicent said, “Did you get your invitation?”

“My ... invitation?” Mr. Merritt asked.

“Yes, to a dinner party Charlotte is giving.”

“Your invitation probably just missed you while you were on your way here. It’s to be a small affair,” I said, rattling on nervously. “I’m inviting four gentlemen—you, Lord Markeley, Lord Brookhaven, and Mr. Percy Allen—to even out us four ladies.”

“Do you see, it’s a reunion,” Millicent said, “of the party at Lowndesbury House.”

Suddenly, the servant announced the arrival of Lord Markeley. It seemed we would have a bit of a reunion now.

Lord Markeley entered the room with a friendly expression and bowed, but when he caught sight of Mr. Merritt, a slight scowl formed across his brow. Still, they greeted each other in a civil enough manner.