Page 84 of A Dark and Drowning Tide

Lorelei glanced back up at Adelheid and Heike. By the looks of it, they’d begun bickering over something or another. With any luck, they’d be occupied for another ten, fifteen minutes at most. A narrow window, but if Heike caught her sneaking into the sickroom, she’d ensure Lorelei never got another opportunity to speak to Ludwigalone—orever again.

She had to go now.

As casually as she could manage, Lorelei rose from her seat and headed for the doors of the mess. She strode out onto the main deck and let the cool night air wash over her. Too late, she noticed the figure careening toward her and nearly collidedwith—

“Sylvia.”

Lorelei steadied her by her shoulders, then all but dragged her into an alcove. A lantern swung above them, scattering light across the deck. In the gloom, she could make out the starlit fall of Sylvia’s hair and the alarmed shine of her pale eyes.

“Thank God,” Lorelei said.

Some of the wariness slipped off her face. “Oh?”

Lorelei did not know so much hope could be contained in one syllable. She realized, dazedly, that she’d all but backed her against thewall—andthat Sylvia was wearing a coat with an unusually high collar. The golden buttons gleamed in the dim lantern light, fastened to conceal her throat and the bruise Lorelei had left behind. Mortification seized her all at once. How could shehave—

No, for the greater good, she could set aside her feelings. Slowly, she loosened her hold on Sylvia and took a step back. “I need you to distract Heike for me. She’s in the galley.”

The tentative hope in Sylvia’s expression vanished. Fury and—worse—hurttook its place in an instant. Apparently, she could not expect Sylvia to adhere to her same standards of professionalism. “Why?”

“Just do it,” Lorelei hissed. “I don’t have time to explain.”

“You have a lot of nerve, Lorelei Kaskel. Is that really all you want to say to me?”

Sylvia was nowhere near as tall as Lorelei, but she made a valiant effort to rise to the occasion. In retrospect, asking for Sylvia’s help mere hours after kissingher—andrejecting any possibility of finding happiness withher—wasnot her brightest idea. Now she’d left herself open to a discussion of theirrelationship. She could have gagged on the word.

Lorelei raked a hand through her hair. “What is there to say that I haven’t already said?”

Sylvia looked stung. “Is that all I’m to expect from you, then? I know you think I’m silly and empty-headed. Perhaps I am. But some of us do have feelings. They’re real, and they matter.”

Lorelei felt almost dizzy with the accusation, the very same one Sylvia had lobbed at her on the night after Ziegler’s murder.You really are coldhearted. It struck her harder than she’d anticipated. How desperately she wanted to prove Sylvia right. It would make her life far easier if she truly were as heartless as she wanted everyone to believe.

“I’m sorry,” Lorelei gritted out. “Truly. Will that tide you over for now? I need your help. Ludwig was awake today. I need to speak with him without alerting anyone.”

Sylvia’s expression softened some, but she crossed her arms guardedly. “Fine. But I must remind you that Heike does notenjoymy presence. What am I supposed to say to hold her attention?”

“You have known her for the better part of twenty years. Surely you can think of something.”

Sylvia seemed to consider it. “Perhaps I will try to apologize to her again. Or perhaps I could suggest my feelings have changed. Yes, that will hold her attention. I will tell her that I have long mourned our broken friendship, but over these past few weeks, I have come to realize that I have been blind to my own ardor. That my capacity for deluding myself extends farbeyond—”

“God, no. Don’t do that,” Lorelei said, without bothering to mask the horror in her voice. “You sound like you’re auditioning for the lead in a two-bit melodrama.”

Sylvia gasped. “Oh, you insufferable,clueless...!Give me one good reason I should not throw you overboard this instant.”

“Because I’m going to save both of our miserable lives.”

Sylvia was standing far too close to her again. Even when she was like this—especiallywhen she was likethis—Loreleicould not help wanting her. It made her sick. It terrified her. It would be so simple to close the gap between them. To shove her against the wall and kiss her until she couldn’t remember her own name. To let herself believe in all her wild, impulsive promises. Her expression must have revealed the turn of her thoughts. Color rose high on Sylvia’s cheeks. She looked like she wanted to kissher—or,indeed, throw her overboard.

She did not have time for this. Her window was closing.

“I trust you to handle it,” Lorelei said hastily. With that, she turned on her heel and left Sylvia to stew in her indignation.

Never in her life had she felt so self-sabotaging.

***

The wall sconces illuminated the corridor of the expedition’s quarters and winked off the dust swirling through the orbs of light. Lorelei stopped in front of Ludwig’s door with her heart lodged firmly in her throat.

At long last, she might have the answers she sought.