Page 115 of All I Feel

What happened today, right from the moment I’d started that argument with her in the kitchen, was tragic. All I could think was that I’d put us on a path to some place we’d never be able to get back from. And with what happened with her ex just a few hours ago, I wasn’t sure where things stood.

The things he said to her… I thought the man was dying. In any other scenario, I would’ve stopped him before he had the chance. But that situation was one that had left me speechless. He knew he’d messed things up with her. Even I couldn’t deny his remorse. And now that he’d saved her life, proved to her what she meant to him, would that change things for her?

Worst of all, in this scenario, I couldn’t be selfish and ask her to talk about us. My focus needed to be on getting her through this nightmare of a situation.

First up, I had to give her the news she desperately needed.

“Tess?” I called quietly.

She snapped out of the daze she’d been in, sat up a little straighter, and brought her eyes to mine. “Any news?”

“He’s in the ICU. Critical, but alive.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I watched as Tessa’s chin dipped down slightly in understanding. Relief swept over her.

Long moments of silence passed, and I waited, still standing on the opposite side of the room. My body and heart were screaming at me to go to her, but I wasn’t sure it was what she wanted. My mind forced me to stay put and recall all the memories I’d had with her over these last few weeks.

“Ace?” Tessa’s voice was so soft and small. Nothing like I’d known her to be.

“Yeah?”

She pressed her lips together, her chin trembling. “Do you… Do you hate me?”

Caught off guard by her question, my head jerked back. “What? Why would you say that?”

Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she shook her head with such disappointment. “I never meant to hurt you like I did today.”

I took a deep swallow, trying to brace myself for the words that might follow. “I know you’d never intentionally hurt anyone, Tessa.”

“You.”

“What?”

“I’m talking about hurting you, though. This isn’t about me hurting anyone, Ace. It’s about me hurting you. And I’m so sorry for what I did, even if it had been unintentional.”

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Nothing about what she was saying indicated where she hoped for us to be moving forward. “I know. It’s okay. I’m just as sorry for coming at you like I did.”

“You had every right,” she murmured, swiping at the tears that had fallen. “I thought I was going to die today with you believing the absolute worst of me.”

Tessa had gotten so choked up, and as the reality of theday’s events came crashing down on her, it was no longer in me to stand back.

I crossed the room, lifted her in my arms, and sat in the spot where she’d been. Then I positioned her body in front of mine, her back to my chest, my arms wrapping tightly around her. As she tried to get a handle on her emotions, I kissed the top of her head.

Only after she’d settled a bit did I speak. “I don’t think the worst of you, Tessa. This morning was just… It was hard to see that.”

Tessa shifted slightly and twisted her neck to look back at me. “I swear, it meant nothing. I was just cold, and it was there. I know now how wrong it was to even bring it here. But it was never about me having any residual feelings for him. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

Her tone was sincere, and her apology felt like a plea. Like she was desperate for me to believe every word. I lifted my hand to the side of her face, stroked my thumb along her cheekbone, and said, “I believe you. And I want you to know I’m just as sorry for how I spoke to you. No matter how I felt about seeing what I did, I know who you are. And I should’ve kept that in mind when I questioned you. I could’ve been a lot nicer.”

Tension eased out of her as her body relaxed deeper into mine. “I don’t like the way it feels to fight with you. I had such a miserable day because of it.”

“Same for me. And it only got worse when I got home, and you weren’t here.” I linked my fingers with hers. “A lot happened today. Do you want to talk about it?”

Tessa dropped her head back against the front of my shoulder and sighed. “It was the scariest experience of my whole life. I’m so glad it’s over, and that Georgia and theother guy were arrested. I can’t believe Ryan was shot, though.”

“He took that bullet for you,” I noted.

She nodded. “I know. I feel like I can understand where Hawk was just a couple of months ago with Chloe. The bullet that Ryan took was meant for me.”