Page 19 of All I Feel

“Why? What did he say?”

Tears filled my eyes. “He sounded like the guy I fell for. He was remorseful and apologetic. He all but begged me to call him so he could make things right.”

Lark scooted her chair closer to mine, her palm landing on the middle of my back and stroking in an effort to comfort me. “Are you… Is that even an option for you?”

And there it was—the million-dollar question.

“If you had asked me that question as a hypothetical a week ago, I would’ve told you there’s no possible way I’d ever consider anything like that.” I tugged on my earlobe, feeling so conflicted. “Even now, the logical and rational part of my brain knows I deserve better. Knows I deserve to be someone’s one and only. But my heart, Lark. I heard his voice, and for a moment, I forgot about what happened on Saturday. I remembered all the good times we had between us. Because when it was good, it was really good.”

“But he destroyed that, Tessa.” Her hand dropped from my back to my forearm, and she squeezed me there. “And if you hadn’t called him that night, do you honestly think he ever would’ve come right out and shared the truth with you?”

I shrugged. “I guess I’ll never know. At this point, I don’t even know how long it was going on. Was our entire relationship a farce? Or was this a one-time thing?”

The silence stretched between us for a while. I was lost,caught up in all the hurt and devastation again, and I suspected Lark felt a bit stuck having to control her fury so she could be a supportive friend to me.

After a while, she said, “I have my thoughts about him, you, and this whole situation. But what I feel doesn’t matter. Not yet, anyway. It’s obvious you have questions that only he can answer. Do you want to talk to him?”

I wasn’t sure what I would do if I saw Ryan in person right now. “I don’t know. I think Ace was right.”

“About what?”

“I need to get myself to a place where I’m not so vulnerable. Because knowing how I crumbled after listening to those last few messages he left, I think it’d be easy for him to manipulate me.” I let out another deep sigh of frustration. “But also, I’m curious. As much as I know it’s going to kill me to hear it, I need to know everything. I need to know how this happened, what led him to doing what he did.”

Nodding slowly, Lark said, “Okay. I get it. And if that’s what you need to do, I will support you. But I want you to be prepared. Because I get the feeling that a guy like him could easily find a way to blame you for what he did. That’s not okay. So, whenever the time comes that you do talk to him, prepare yourself for the fact that some guys are just assholes who do what they do because they think they can.”

I offered a small smile. “Thanks, Lark. I’ll do my best to remember that.”

“Good. Now, is there anything I can do for you?”

“Just help me steer clear of him for the next few days.”

She perked up in her seat and returned the smile. “Done. And if you have any moments of weakness between now and then, you call me. Got it?”

Nodding, I said, “Got it.”

Lark puffed up her chest with pride and continued to smile. “Perfect. Finish eating so you don’t pass out on me today.”

Warmth moved through me at her command. Though there were plenty of people in my life who would love and look after me in a situation like this, it seemed I was already covered between Lark and Ace. That alone was enough to lift my spirits.

A few hours later, I was in the middle of doing a pedicure on a client when I heard a commotion coming from the front of the salon. My brows knit together as I listened, but I couldn’t quite make out what was happening.

I sent a reassuring smile my client’s way and said, “Please excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

Pedicures weren’t something I did terribly often. But I had a few clients who begged me to do them, so I set up a station. Of course, that station was out of view of the front of the salon, which meant I had no idea what I was walking into.

The voices grew louder as I made my way down the hall, and I immediately determined that Lark’s was one of them. I was just about to turn the corner when I heard the other one, and a chill ran down my spine. “I need you to talk to her for me, Lark. Just ask her to come out so I can explain everything.”

“I don’t care what you need me to do. I don’t owe you anything, and I will do no such thing. Tessa will call you when Tessa’s ready to talk to you.”

“She hasn’t called me, though,” Ryan argued.

“Maybe that should tell you that she doesn’t want to speak to you yet,” Lark countered. “I still can’t believe whatyou did to her. Lying, cheating… You’re so not the man I thought you were.”

She might not have shared those words directly with me at lunch, but I’d suspected she wasn’t thrilled with the idea of him any longer.

Ryan sighed. “I know it was wrong, Lark. I need to apologize.”

My throat grew tight, and my nails dug into my palms as I resisted the urge to walk out there to confront him. Not yet. I wasn’t ready.