Page 26 of All I Feel

“Life would be so much easier if I didn’t,” I murmured.

“That doesn’t sound reassuring.”

I held the pile of plastic cars in my hand. “Which color do you want to be?”

“Pick whatever you want, and I’ll take anything else.”

I selected the pink car—he had to know that’s what I was going to choose, considering his sister and I were two peas in a pod and the girly girls of the bunch—and gave himthe green one before shifting my attention to the money. While I got that squared away, Ace worked on affixing the mountains, buildings, and spinner to the board.

“I wish I could just walk away from him, Ace,” I revealed. “I wish I could act like I never met him, never knew a thing about him. But I don’t have a genie ready to grant any wishes for me. So, I’ve got to face this.”

I was busy shuffling the cards and realized Ace hadn’t responded. I stopped shuffling and lifted my gaze to find him staring at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you considering reconciliation?”

Sadness consumed me. “Lark asked me the same thing yesterday.”

“And?” I could’ve sworn he’d stopped breathing while he waited for my response.

I licked my lips. “Everything’s so complicated. I wish this wasn’t a question I had to answer at all. But I’m here, and I have no choice. Being honest, I can’t pretend I didn’t feel anything for him. No matter how much I wish it wasn’t true, he meant something to me. But on the flip side, despite what I feel for him, I don’t think I could ever get past this betrayal.”

“You shouldn’t have to.” Ace affixed the final building to the board. “So, are you planning to see him this weekend?”

“As of right now, I think so. It’s not so much that I’m eager to see him. I just really want some answers. Some explanation. I have so many unanswered questions.”

Ace’s expression turned tentative. Like he had dozens of thoughts swirling in his mind that he refused to share. But just because I could see that clear as day didn’t mean heheld back from me entirely. “No matter when it happens, Tessa, if you need someone to talk to afterward, I want you to call me. I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”

“That means the world to me, Ace.” Warmth moved through me, and I smiled at him. “Do you think it’s weird?”

“Do I think what’s weird?”

“That I didn’t lose my mind, drive to his place, and demand answers the minute I heard that woman’s voice on the phone? I mean, it’s been days, and I’m still not completely ready to see him, even though I have so much I want to say.”

For a long time, Ace didn’t respond. His silence made me think that he was attempting to come up with a way to share that he believed it was strange I’d handled things this way. Finally, he surprised me and said, “I think it’s smart.”

“Smart?”

His fingers curled around my forearm, warm and comforting. After giving me a squeeze and keeping his fingers there, he said, “You’re taking time to get your mind right. If you’d gone there that night, which nobody would’ve blamed you for, you would’ve been responding to everything with all that hurt and anger coursing through your body. That’s not to say that I don’t believe you’ll still feel a lot of that this weekend. But you’ve had time to sit with it, to come to terms with what you deserve, and to decide whatyoutruly want. Any decision you might’ve made that night wouldn’t have been a rational one. At least now you’ll be able to go into it with a clear head.”

I covered his hand with mine and smiled. “Were you always this smart?”

Ace grinned at me. “Always.”

Glancing at the board game, I asked, “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

With that, the two of us played, and the conversation shifted away from Ryan. I was glad for it, delighted to simply be spending time with someone I knew truly cared about me. Deep down, I’d always known Ace was a man I could count on. No matter what was happening in my life, if I needed him, I knew he’d be there. It was just the kind of man he was. But I wondered why I hadn’t ever thought about him as anything more.

We were friends. We got along great. And there was no question that Ace was handsome. He looked like a younger version of his dad, with his height and strong, solid body, but he had his mom’s jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes. Why hadn’t I ever looked at him as anything more than just my brother’s best friend? As my friend?

Of course, it wasn’t as though Ace had given me any indication he’d seen me as anything more than just his sister’s best friend. I wasn’t unattractive. I knew that. But having confidence in the way I looked didn’t necessarily mean that I was someone else’s type.

Why was I even thinking about any of this? It hadn’t even been a week since I’d had my heart broken by Ryan. Clearly, the thoughts I was having about Ace had to be about the appreciation I felt for all that he’d done for me over the last few days.

I shook the thoughts from my head and focused all my attention on the game. Thirty minutes and lots of laughs later, I let out a groan of frustration and fell onto my back on the floor. “I can’t believe this.”