Page 84 of Lost

“Are you super sure about that? I don’t make friends very easily. Mostly because most people are peasants.”

Kevin was surprised to hear himself laugh. “I don’t know the full story about how it happened. I didn’t have time to get it from Zo, but you’re definitely part of her group, and it’s a pretty big group. Actually, you’re friendly with all the High Priestesses I met.”

“Wait, what? I thought you said your sister was High Priestess.”

“She is, but there are lots of High Priestesses at her House of Night—Stevie Rae, Shaylin, Shaunee, Kramisha, Lenobia—”

“Lenobia? The equestrian professor? She’s alive over there?”

“Yep. So is Travis and all their horses.”

Aphrodite wiped a shaking hand across her face. “I’m glad they’re alive somewhere.”

Kevin studied her. “Ah, I get it. No one from the Resistance leaked the Keystone location. You had another vision. You told Neferet. And Neferet sent the Red Army to wipe them out.”

“Yes. Do you want to turn around and take me back to Dragon for retribution?”

She spoke steadily—she even sounded haughty. But Kevin saw the way her face paled and her hands trembled so badly that she had to clutch them together in her lap.

He didn’t answer her question. Instead he asked one of his own. “Actually, I don’t think you like all this killing. So, why did you do it?”

“I told Neferet about Zoey because back then I still believed Neferet was doing Nyx’s work. I mean, smacking down some humans sounded good. Who doesn’t get sick of their idiotic racism and misogyny? Please. That shit needs to become as extinct as the dinosaurs.”

“What does that have to do with telling Neferet to kill my sister?”

“That’s my point! I still believed that Neferet was basically good. And I didn’t know she was going to kill your sister.”

“But you knew she’d kill Lenobia and Travis. You had to have seen that in your vision.”

“I did. I also had that horrific fucking vision when I was with Neferet. I—I was Lenobia. I spoke as Lenobia. I died with Lenobia. I experienced everything with her. The death of her mate. The death of her horses. The death of her friends. It was beyond awful. I didn’t even realize I was describing everything to Neferet until after—after I’d recovered from the vision and she’d already sent the Red Army to wipe them out.” Aphrodite drew a deep breath and wiped away the tears sliding down her pale cheeks. “But you’re right. I’m responsible for their deaths. I’m responsible for all of their deaths.”

“I don’t get it. If you know how awful Neferet is, why do you keep telling her about your visions?”

“I try not to! And when I can’t hide that I’ve had one I try to leave out any detail that can lead that fucking army of monsters to the people I see them slaughtering—but I want to survive too! I hated telling her about the Resistance hiding people in those bales of hay, but I knew I’d pushed Neferet as far as I could.She was going to make me live in those tunnels with those creatures.I can’t do that. I just can’t.”

Kevin couldn’t say anything. He wanted to tell her shecouldstand up to Neferet. Shecouldbe that strong. He knew an Aphrodite who was that strong, but as he watched her he realized that she wasn’tthatAphrodite. Not yet she wasn’t.

He put the Hummer into gear and pulled out of the parking lot, turning north toward the heart of downtown.

“You’re not taking me to Dragon?”

“No.”

“Where are you going?”

“To the depot. You can drive the Hummer back to the House of Night,” he said.

“You’re seriously not going to turn me in to the Resistance?”

“Seriously.”

“Why aren’t you?” she asked.

“Because I’m not a monster,” he said. “I have the capacity to love and to forgive. I forgive you. You did what you thought you had to do to survive. You’re still doing that. I guess we all are.”

“Is it as bad in those tunnels as I think it is?”

“Worse,” Kevin said.