Page 145 of Into the Mist

“Blessed be!” Everyone echoed before they drank.

Mercury raised her glass again and the others followed her. “I propose a toast—to the strong and laughing God of the Forest. Blessed be!”

“Blessed be!” Again everyone drank with her.

Mercury raised her glass one last time. “And also I propose a final toast—to our beloved friend, Ford, who will be well missed, and who now revels in the infinite beauty and magick of the Summerlands. Blessed be!”

“Blessed be!”

“Mercury, would it be okay with you if I offered a prayer?” Karen asked softly.

Mercury smiled through her tears. “Yes, I’m sure Ford would like that.”

They bowed their heads while Karen spoke a simple Christian prayer over the new grave. Then, with her adult friends, Mercury drained the last of the wine and the kids poured theirs over the grave as an offering to the Goddess of the Earth and God of the Forest. Then slowly, somberly, the group returned to the cave.

Karen walked beside Mercury and took her hand. “The light began when you called to the elements. It was green. You glowed in it.Then, as your Rite of Passage progressed, the green went from your body into the earth, and it spread out into the Painted Hills. It changed color so that, for just a moment, the hills were lit by a soft glow that reminded me of my grandmother’s porch light.” Karen squeezed her hand before she released it. “I thought it was important that you knew.”

“Thank you,” Mercury said softly. “Thank you, Karen. I appreciate knowing that. And thank you for your prayer.”

Dinner was a sad, silent affair. The small group was exhausted, and not long after full dark, Mercury was sitting with Khaleesi and Stella, staring into the fire, as everyone else had quietly gone to their beds. The dog never left Mercury’s side, but shadowed her everywhere, providing comfort as only the love of a canine can.

Mercury didn’t notice Stella was crying until her friend sniffled and wiped at her nose.

“Here.” She handed Stella one of the tissues she’d carried to the grave in her pocket.

“Thanks.” Stella blew her nose, and then a sob tore loose from her, and she buried her face in her hands and wept.

Mercury scooted over closer to Stella so she should could put her arm around her friend’s shaking shoulders.

“I know. I can’t believe he’s gone. And I can’t believe I only knew him for a few days. It feels like he took part of me with him,” said Mercury softly as she wiped tears from her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry.” Stella continued to sob into her hands. “So fucking sorry!”

“Honey, it wasn’t your fault.”

Stella looked up at Mercury. “Why the hell didn’t I know he was in danger? I asked! Before we left I asked if we’d be okay—if we should take Gemma. All I got from my useless fucking intuition was that we needed to go to Mitchell and that it would be fine. But it wasn’t fine. Why the hell didn’t I know to bring Gemma?”

“I don’t think she could’ve saved him,” Mercury said. “Ford said it himself. The green fog broke something inside him. It wasn’t your fault,” she repeated. “You know Ford wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“What the hell good is my intuition if it’s faulty? It didn’t fucking work today.”

“Maybe Ford was fated to die; maybe, despite your new intuition, you can’t change fate. Remember when we first met him? Yousaid then that had we not been going to Madras and stopped when and where we did, he would’ve died. Maybe, no matter what, there was nothing we could’ve done about it, and that’s why you didn’t know it was going to happen.”

“This has messed me up, Mercury.” Stella shook her head. “I don’t know how to be me after what happened today.”

“It’s like what we told Karen last night. You have to accept yourself—and that means flaws and all.” Mercury sighed and stood. Instantly, Khaleesi was on her feet beside her. “I’m going to go to pee and then try to sleep.”

Stella looked up at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Mercury bent and kissed her best friend on her tear-damp cheek before walking slowly from the cave.

It was another clear, cold night. The sky was so alight with stars that Mercury didn’t need the lantern. First, she headed to the truck, where she retrieved the boom box that she’d already loaded with the correct CD. Then she picked her way back to the newly dug mound of earth under which Ford rested.

Khaleesi lay at the edge of the dirt as Mercury turned on the boom box. She kept the volume low, pulled off her boots and walked to the center of the grave. She dug her feet into the freshly turned earth and breathed deeply of the scents of the clay and cedar, sagebrush and juniper that surrounded her. From her pocket, she brought out Ford’s switchblade, opened it, and pressed its razor-sharp edge to her palm, where, a lifetime ago, she had accidentally cut herself and first begun to learn about the changes that were happening to them.

As scarlet bled from her hand, Mercury began to hum the melody of “Strawberry Wine” along with Deana Carter’s sweet voice. Slowly at first, and then with more joy as she relaxed into the tempo, Mercury waltzed over the earth while her blood softly rained all over Ford’s grave.

She felt the change and didn’t need to look, though after the song ended and she’d taken the last steps of the solitary waltz, Mercury did glance down. The top of the grave was covered with yellow wildflowers that tickled her toes and lent their sweet fragrance to the somber night.