Page 40 of Into the Mist

Karen suddenly raised her half-empty wineglass. “To not knowing shit!”

The group stared at Karen, and then as one they raised their glasses and toasted together: “To not knowing shit!” And then they dissolved into giggles, which even Imani briefly joined.

Karen blotted her flushed face with the end of her too long pajama sleeve and then fanned herself. “Whew, I’d forgotten what it’s like to have friends like you.”

Stella raised her brow. “Like us?”

Imani’s dark eyes narrowed “Yeah, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Karen made a gesture that took in all four women. “You’re unapologetic about who you are. It makes you seem somehow lighter than the women I spend time with.” She paused, sipped her wine, and continued. “I used to be like you when I was a girl. I wanted to be a dancer, but that would’ve led to a sinful life, plus he said that I wasn’t pretty or talented enough.”

“He?” Stella asked.

“My father.”

Mercury met Karen’s gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” said Stella.

“That’s a horrible thing to say to a little girl.” Imani shook her head in disgust.

“Legit monstrous,” said Jenny.

Stella refreshed Karen’s glass, which Karen sipped contemplatively before saying, “It’s not really godly, is it? To judge and steal dreams.”

Mercury leaned forward. “Well, I think that depends on whether you’re talking about the Old or New Testament God.”

Stella nudged Mercury with her slippered foot. “Stop. Karen is having a moment.”

“No, I’m interested in Mercury’s point,” said Karen as she fanned herself. “Also, I’m curious about something. You’re not a Christian, correct?”

“Very correct,” Mercury said.

“Then why do you know the Bible?” Karen asked.

“That’s a good question, Karen,” Mercury responded. “When I was a little girl I went to church with my friends—and my mom sometimes went to a Presbyterian church a few of her girlfriends attended, and she took my brothers and me with her. It never felt right for me. I had so, so many questions—even back then. Like, why are men automatically in charge? Why is God supposed to ‘be love’”—Mercury air-quoted—“but Christians show so much hate for anyone not exactly like them. And the one that really baffled me—why are there so many segregated churches? Especially as Jesus Christwas definitely not the blond-haired, blue-eyed white guy I saw so many pictures of.”

“Amen, sis!” Imani said.

“I was raised to believe in education—especially self-education,” Mercury continued. “So, I started educating myself about religion. I read the Bible—more than once. I studied the Gnostic Gospels. And the more I learned, especially about Christianity, the more it just didn’t fit with me, but when I began exploring different Pagan traditions, I felt like I’d come home.” She smiled at Karen. “That’s why I know the Bible. It would’ve been disingenuous of me to reject something without researching it thoroughly.”

“That’s interesting, and I’m glad you shared it with me,” said Karen as she nodded. “Why did you ask which God we were talking about—the Old or New Testament God?”

“Oh, that’s simple,” Mercury said. “The Old Testament God tested his prophets by telling them to do horrible things—like commanding a father kill his son. Murdering all the firstborn, even the innocent ones who weren’t actually keeping his people as slaves. He’d slaughter a man’s whole fam and then give him a new one to prove his fidelity. That God sucks.”

Karen met her gaze. “I can’t say that I disagree with you, but the God I was referring to is Jesus Christ.”

“He’s a much different God,” said Imani.

Mercury snorted. “Yeah, and they killed him.”

“Oh. My. God!” said Jenny.

“Which God?” asked Stella.

“No, not literally. Look!” Jenny pointed at the nightstand, where two of the four potatoes had green sprouts shooting through smudges of rust.

“Whose are those?” Imani got to her knees so she could look around Jenny.