Page 116 of Boudicca

“There is no other lover for me, nor will there ever be,” she said.

I pulled Rhan into my arms and held her close.

***

While I bathed, Wulffaed prepared a basket of food and winter beer, and as soon as I was dressed I hurried to Maldwyn’s caravan, which butted up to the side of the mountain closest to our herd. I’d gone to his caravan before—I’d even spent the night in his bed there and was used to the soothing sounds of the nearby horses and the usually raucous stable workers, who shared a big central campfire with Maldwyn and liked to sing battle songs and drink well into the night.

Tonight the camp was subdued, most especially Tribe Trinovantes, the bulk of whom sheltered near the herds. The sleet had changed to an unending blanket of falling white. The hood of my heavy, fur-lined cloak was pulled up over my head to shield me from the weather. It and the snow also made it difficult to tell that I wasn’t just another warrior making her way to her campfire on this somber night. I was glad for my temporary anonymity. Not because I had any desire to hide the fact that Maldwyn and I were lovers—I’d never hidden that, nor would I. That night I was weighed down by sadness and I needed solitude to gather my thoughts. Addedomaros and I hadn’t always been in agreement, but his death was a shock. I would miss the cantankerous old chief.

When I reached Maldwyn’s caravan, he did not notice me. He was sitting alone on a log near the big community campfire, sheltered from the majority of the snow by animal hides stretched from one caravan to another. His head was bowed and he stared into the fire. He looked defeated and far older than he had that morning. I tossed back my hood and strode to him. He finally looked up. I saw the surprise in his eyes, which were red and swollen. When he startedto stand I pressed his shoulder down and sat beside him instead, and began unwrapping food from my basket.

“Wulffaed packed this for us,” I said.

He cleared his throat and then said, “You have not eaten?”

“Not since this morning. I’ve been with Rhan preparing Addedomaros.”

Maldwyn grunted and nodded. We ate silently, staring into the fire and sitting so close together that our thighs touched. I hadn’t realized how hungry I’d been until I’d taken the first bite, and Maldwyn must have felt the same, as we ate quickly and ravenously. I pulled out the bladder filled with beer and we passed it back and forth. After we’d finished the food, I felt better, more grounded, and continued to sip the beer when it was my turn.

“Cadoc tells me you made sure Black was properly prepared and part of the pyre,” I said. “I’m glad of it.”

“Killing that stallion was...” His voice faded as a shiver passed through his body.

“It was a great mercy,” I said. “You soothed Black and stopped him from panicking and causing himself more pain.”

Maldwyn looked at me then. His eyes were tortured. “That stallion made it through three major battles with little more than scratches. He should have had years left, siring magnificent offspring and proudly carrying his chief.” His breath hitched on a sob then, and he buried his face in his hands. “I-I don’t know why this has broken me. You and I have seen much worse on the battlefield.”

“Maldwyn, you’re responding to the tragedy of it. The accident shouldn’t have happened at all. In battle we’re prepared to die and to lose the warriors with us, which includes the warriors that carry us into the fight.” I slid my arm around his broad shoulders and he leaned into me. “Today was supposed to have been a contest among friends. It should have ended in a feast where one of us celebrated and the other three conceded defeat graciously, not in the loss of a great chief and his most cherished stallion.” I held him tightly. “None of us was prepared for that.”

He nodded, sighed, and wiped his face. “How is Adminius?”

“Adara drugged him. He’s been asleep since we began preparing his father’s body.”

“And what of Rhan? He was her father, too,” said Maldwyn.

“She and Mailcun are still with Addedomaros. She will sit vigil with him tonight. I do not think she has had time to consider the true impact of her loss yet.” I sighed. “That will come later, after the Trinovantes choose Adminius as their chief.”

“If they do,” said Maldwyn.

“What have you heard?”

“That Adminius is not respected by his tribe,” said Maldwyn.

I shook my head, not surprised by Maldwyn’s words. “A tribe will never choose a chief they do not respect.”

“I did not hear one Trinovantes warrior speak the wordschiefandAdminiustogether today.”

“Do they blame Adminius for his father’s death?” I asked.

“Yes and no. They acknowledge that it was an accident, but the whole army knows the accident only happened because Adminius’s boasting goaded Addedomaros into the contest.” Maldwyn shook his head in disgust. “What a waste of life.”

I nodded. “We light the pyre tomorrow at dusk. I’m hosting the funeral feast.”

“That would make the old chief smile. He liked you,” said Maldwyn.

I sighed. “He often reminded me of my father. I will miss verbally jousting with him.”

Maldwyn almost smiled. “Is it true he thought he won the contest?”