Page 124 of Boudicca

At Imbolc, a holy day on the wheel of the year when we celebrate new life and the reawakening of the earth after its long winter slumber, all four idols were completed enough that they were included in thefestivities. Candles were lit around the base of each statue. Honey cakes and bowls of sheep and goat milk were left out as offerings, as well as crystals, beads, and feathers. Thereafter the sense of melancholy lifted, and as the army honored its gods, it once again found its spirit.

It was then that I noticed I was ill. The illness began as exhaustion and nausea. My daily training was a struggle. I said nothing, but my lead warriors began watching me closely, which made me redouble my efforts to appear well.

I could not shake the lethargy that snuck upon me at unexpected times. One day I would get through training just fine, with only the usual well-earned tiredness. The next day I would have to end early and retire to my bedchamber for the rest of the day.

Food tasted odd. Sometimes I was ravenous and others I couldn’t bear anything except sipping a little bone broth. My body ached and was overly sensitive.

I was irritable. I refused to speak of my illness to Rhan or Maldwyn, but as February came to a close, I was still not well. I’d thought I’d mostly kept my infirmity secret, but when our healer Adara joined my lodge during the next Arianell’s Day I knew I had not been as good at hiding my illness as I had hoped.

That day I was annoyed that I felt especially sick. Wulffaed had taken one look at my sallow face and begun boiling bones for broth. I tried to laugh with the women but found I wasn’t able to do much more than sit still while Phaedra brushed and braided my hair. As the women left my lodge, smiling and replete with mead and comradery, Adara remained behind with Rhan.

I took a deep breath and readied myself as the two women approached me together.

“Boudicca, I asked Adara to attend you today,” said Rhan almost shyly. “I have been worried. You have lost weight. You are often exhausted. I—I am concerned you have a wasting sickness.”

Adara chuckled.

Rhan and I turned our twin frowns on her. “Is my illness amusing?” I snapped at the healer. I had felt increasingly unwell as the day progressed and had little patience for foolishness.

“Of course not, my queen,” said Adara with a smile. “Tell me, when did you last have your moon days?”

Rhan gasped, and I suddenly felt numb—and foolish. I’d borne two children, and though it had been many years, I certainly should have remembered what it had felt like to be with child. Hastily, I counted back. I’d not bled for well over one month.

I had to swallow several times before I could speak. “I’m with child.”

“Aye, that is my guess,” Adara said, nodding. “Though if you allow it I will examine you to be sure.”

Adara’s examination supported what I had already realized. When the Druid healer left and Rhan and I were alone, my lover came to me and took me tenderly into her arms.

“A child. It is such a blessing,” Rhan said. Then she laughed. “I didn’t even consider it! I was worried you had a wasting sickness.”

“Well, Ceri has known ten namedays. When Prasutagus and I conceived no more children, I believed I would not bear another child.” I relaxed in her embrace and allowed myself to be filled with relief that I wasn’t deathly ill, as well as joy at the knowledge of the new life within me. “Maldwyn will be pleased,” I said softly.

“Yes he will,” Rhan said. “As will all of the Iceni. This is wonderful news, proving the Iceni are fertile and strong and well blessed by Andraste.”

“Well, if this pregnancy is anything like my other two, I will only feel ill for just a couple more full cycles of the moon, and then I will be filled with energy until just before I give birth. That should give us time to defeat the Romans before we celebrate a new member of the royal Iceni family.”

“Yes,” Rhan said softly. “Yes.”

***

I sent word to Cadoc that I wished to entertain the chiefs for dinner that evening, and that I would also like Abertha and Briallen to join us. As Wulffaed prepared a special meal of fat chickens glazed with honey and precious baked apples, I went to our herd, where I knew I would find Maldwyn.

“My queen!” He grinned when he saw me feeding one of the apples Wulffaed hoarded to Tân. “Does the Mother of Twenty know that you have absconded with that? I tried to sneak one for Ennis not long ago and she rapped my knuckles with a stick!”

I laughed. “Oh, she knows. And as I’m celebrating, she didn’t seem to mind overly much.”

He joined me at Tân’s side and stroked her neck. “Celebrating? Has there been news?”

“Yes.” I kissed Tân’s soft muzzle and then hooked my arm through his. “Walk with me to the pass. I’d like to watch the sunset.”

“As you ask, so will I do.”

We didn’t speak as we made our way through the camp to the opening to our valley. Dinner was quickly approaching, and the scent of roasting meat that wafted with the breeze had my stomach roiling. I hoped I would be able to eat the honeyed chicken, which was usually one of my favorite dishes. Maldwyn shot me a surprised look when I led him through the pass, which was becoming increasingly muddy as the days lengthened and warmed. We followed the cleared path to where it dipped down, and I stopped. The sun was just dropping beneath the western forest, setting the sky ablaze before it slept beneath the horizon. Its reddish-orange color reminded me of the wildflowers that blanketed Tasceni in the spring, and I felt a sudden deep yearning for home.

Maldwyn placed his hand over mine where it rested on his arm. “Boudicca, what is it?”

I looked at him, surprised to realize my eyes had filled with tears. “I am with child.”