Page 35 of Boudicca

“It was a wise thing you did back there in the lodge,” she said. “It loosened grief’s chokehold on your people.”

“I am not as good at lightening a mood as Arianell. Had my mother been here tonight, beside me where she belongs, even after our losses, this Beltane would be less somber, less heartbreaking.”

Rhan cocked her head in that particular way she used to when we were girls and she had something important to say. “As you are now a queen and not simply my foster sister, I probably should not say this, but you are wrong.”

I snorted. “I will always be your friend and I value your truth telling. Speak as freely as you did when we were girls.”

“Well then, the truth is, had Arianell witnessed what the Romansdid, she would have fallen into a despair so dark she would have never truly recovered.” When I was unable to speak, she continued. “Boudicca, did you not know that you were your mother’s strength?”

“I—no. She always seemed so wise. So steadfast.”

Rhan nodded. “Yes, because she had you and the Iceni from which to draw strength. Oh, I do not mean to disparage Arianell. Indeed, she was wise and loving, but you were the fire that warmed her, the victory she followed after she lost your father and her tribe. Does it help to know that she would not have wanted to survive today?”

I felt the truth of her words settle within me and I had a sudden flash of the day my mother had come to Tasceni after the death of my father. She had looked frail and old and defeated, but I had put that out of my mind because her vitality returned as she cared for me and her first granddaughter, born shortly after her arrival.

“Yes, it does help.” As I spoke I felt the shackles of grief loosen. “I hope Mother is not despairing now. I hope being in the presence of Brigantia has filled her with joy instead.”

“It is Beltane. Look, Queen Boudicca.” Rhan made a sweeping gesture with the blade of her hand. It parted the mist so that as I peered past the triple fires at Tasceni, I clearly saw that the figures illuminated by the other Beltane blazes had multiplied. In their glow were many, many more Iceni, jubilant as they twirled and laughed, danced, and loved.

Two of the dancers, a tall flame-haired man and a slender young woman who moved with the grace of youth, turned their faces to me. My breath caught. I knew them from my youth. I knew their smiles and the love that radiated from them to me, and to each other, as they danced their way around the fire.

“Rhan! Do you see them?” My voice shook with excitement but was hushed lest I break the spell she’d cast and the veil to Annwn close.

“I see them,” Rhan said, linking her arm through mine. “I see their happiness and their love. Remember, Boudicca, love is as eternal as are we.”

“I’ll remember...” I stared through the unveiled mist at my ethereal loved ones, who reveled, young and strong again, until the gauzy curtain between worlds was drawn once again.

“Do not mourn for them,” Rhan said softly. “Your grief does not honor them. They want you to think of them with happiness.”

“Thank you. I shall remember.” Then I wiped the tears from my cheeks, turned to meet her gaze, and spoke formally. “Seer, that day at the pool when you had your first vision, the torque you saw me wearing wasn’t a queen’s but this one, wasn’t it?” My fingers touched the thickness of twisted gold around my neck.

Rhan’s gaze dropped from my eyes to the torque before they lifted to look into mine again. “Yes.”

“Why did you not tell me?”

“You were not ready to hear that truth,” said Rhan.

“And since then? You did not think I was ready to hear the truth that would be my future during those long years?” I hadn’t realized that I was angry at Rhan until that moment.

“Do I answer the queen or my friend?”

I blew out a long breath. “I am queenandfriend.”

“Are you?” Rhan paused and shook her head briefly. “No matter, Queen Boudicca and friend, I will answer you honestly. You were not ready to hear the truth until Andraste spoke it to you yesterday. You were not ready to believe your beloved husband’s arrogance would be the impetus that caused the Romans to target you and Tasceni.”

My face flushed with anger and shame. Anger at Prasutagus and shame that she was right. I hadn’t wanted to believe Andraste. I would not have believed Rhan.

Rhan reached out hesitantly with the hand that had so recently parted the curtain between Arbred and Annwn. She grasped my wrist and heat shot through me as our shared girlhood returned to me in a rush—a carefree time when we raced, hand in hand, through the forests of Tribe Trinovantes weaving stories of what our lives would be. At her touch, the anger and shame drained from me. Her soft words held the echo of those days, as well as the wisdom of the seer she had become. “It would not have changed anything had youknown. Prasutagus was set on his course. The fact that I saw you wearing his torque would not have swayed him. It would only have brought conflict and worry to your life, which was full and happy.”

I sighed and nodded before she loosed my wrist. My skin felt cold after the warmth of her touch. “Can you give me your oath that you will keep no future visions from me?”

Rhan’s gaze snapped to mine. I tried to read the depths there, but all I saw was her sharp intelligence. Something else flickered within her eyes, but it faded quickly.

“I can give you my oath that I will share all future visions with you, Queen Boudicca,” said Rhan formally.

As she spoke, a wave of relief crested over me, but before I could acknowledge her newly given oath, movement on the ground caught my attention. Silently, Rhan and I watched as a wild hare hopped from the center of the pyramid of fires before us. The little creature came to Rhan and circled her three times before it fearlessly curled between her leather-clad feet.

My gaze rose to meet Rhan’s. “Stay with me. Be the seer of the Iceni, blessed by Andraste, as well as my advisor. Derwyn will return to Ynys Môn when the pyre is cold and the ashes have been entombed, but I have need of your Sight and your wisdom for what is to come. I give you an oath of my own. I will always be ready to hear the truth you speak.”