Page 8 of Boudicca

I wanted to ask what the harvest was that I would need vengeance for, but I couldn’t form the words. I feared I already knew the answer.

“Can’t I stop it? Won’t you help me?”

The goddess sighed heavily. “Your husband’s choice has been made. It cannot be unmade. And Iamhelping you. That is why you are here. But I will answer you truly, specifically—you may choose to remain here, in Annwn with me. You will be safe. You will return to Tasceni tomorrow, after the Romans have gone. If you make that choice I cannot see your path clearly, except that you will no longer be Iceni queen, though you will survive.”

“The Romans threaten my people. I willnotremain here!” I almost spit the words.

“Ah, then you have two choices. You may choose to face the Romans and not submit to them.”

“I am an Iceni queen. I will not submit to Rome!” My body went hot as anger roiled through my veins.

Andraste remained serene. She nodded. “Yes, that would be momentarily fulfilling, though if you fail to submit, the Romans will kill you.”

My mouth went so dry that I had to swallow several times before I spoke again. “I did not imagine that death in battle would be mine, but it is an honorable death.”

“It is. And I shall welcome you to Annwn and my Summerlands if that is your choice. Though if you heed my words and let today fuel your anger instead of your demise, a great blue tide of vengeance will sweep across your world and you will ride its crest, leading the charge.”

“Me? But I am the wrong queen for that! I rule in peace and prosperity. I—I am not a warrior.”

The goddess grew in size. Her hair whipped around her as her cloak lifted like she was in the middle of a raging windstorm. Her eyes flashed dark fire and her voice became terrible. “Not a warrior? I whispered your name to your father the night you were born.Victory!I compelled you here to be my vengeance! Do you doubt my wisdom?”

I dropped to my knees, though I did not bow my head. I could not look away from the fierce beauty of Andraste. “Never!” I pressed my fist over my heart. “Not even with my last breath will I doubt you.”

“Then make your choice!”

With three words I changed the course of the world.“I choose vengeance.”

The goddess did not alter her terrible war visage. She pointed her mighty spear at the cauldron and in a voice that shook the trees around us said, “Then rise and take from the cauldron my gift, though you must not wear it yet. You will know the time and the place. Listen with your heart and see with your mind.”

On unsteady legs I stood and went to the cauldron. The swirling water had disappeared to reveal a golden chief’s torque resting against the iron bottom, where it glistened with an otherworldly light. I reached down and took the torque. It was thick, twisted gold—open ended, as are all torques, so that it could be fitted around a chief or queen’s neck—and it was stamped with charging boars completed by circled, golden tusks. I gasped with recognition and my gaze met the goddess’s.

“This is my husband’s torque.” I would eternally recognize the sign of my husband’s rank. I had never seen him without it. He had even worn it when we entombed him in the Chief’s Barrow three months earlier.

“And now it is yours—a gift from the goddess of war to Victory. Keep it close until the time is right to reveal it to all.”

My hand was steady as I slipped the torque inside the satchel still slung over my shoulder.

Andraste raised her spear and brought the butt of it down, striking the ground thrice with such blows that the earth trembled. Immediately the white hart returned, standing on the bank behind us. The goddess inclined her head slightly to him.

“Deliver my gratitude to my sister Brigantia for allowing me to borrow you today. To show my appreciation I return this offeringto your goddess, whose beloved Arianell has treasured it for many years.” Around the hart’s neck the silver pendant appeared, with his likeness glinting against the moonlight white of his chest. Then she placed her hands on my face and cupped my cheeks as gently as a mother would her newborn.

“For the pain you will feel today, I am truly sorry. Know that I grieve with you and that with you I shall also blaze with vengeance. Do not forget that I will be beside you every moment. You will be a queen of my forging, and the fire from which you shall be birthed will be lit today. From this day forth I will hear your voice, my Victory—on that I give you my oath.” Then the goddess kissed me gently, first on the forehead, then on both cheeks, and finally on my lips, exactly as my mother had earlier that day, saying, “May the blessing of light be upon you. May the blessing of rain be upon you. May the blessings of earth be upon you, and—someday in the not-too-distant future—may the joy of the day be with you again.” Andraste stepped back and lifted her spear. She struck it against the earth thrice again and her voice rang in my ears. “Now, my Victory,run!”

The stag rushed past us and leaped across the stream. On the far bank he paused and gazed questioningly at me as he had before.

I turned to say goodbye to Andraste, but the goddess, the cauldron, the hares, the ravens, and the throne were all gone. All that was left was the heaviness of the torque in my satchel and the despair that had already begun to live in my heart.

Run!

Andraste’s voice filled my mind and I did as my goddess commanded. I ran through the stream to join the stag. Together the hart and I raced through the mauve-and-violet-tinted forest that was as silent as the barrow in which my husband’s body rested.

Chapter IV

I could not tell how much time had passed. None of the forest I raced through was familiar and the strange light did not give way to the sun. I only knew that I did not tire and had no trouble keeping up with the stag.

Eventually, he began to slow from run to trot, and then the stag broke stride completely and walked, picking through a grove of oaks so ancient that their bottommost limbs brushed the fern-covered ground.

I did not gaze around the forest. I felt no inquisitiveness about the Otherworld we call Annwn. Dread and purpose filled me and left no room for peaceful curiosity. I did find comfort in the solid presence of the hart. He walked so close beside me that I could feel the warmth of his body and smell the sweetness of his breath. It made me feel close to my mother, especially when the odd light caused the emerald eye of the pendant he wore around his muscular neck to flash.