Page 19 of The Midwife By the Sea

‘Thank God you were here.’ Freya still looked as though she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘Logan was so traumatised when we nearly lost Evie and he’s been terrified all through this pregnancy too, but now I can call him and let him know it’s all okay, because of you.’

‘It was a team effort, and you did by far the hardest part, but if hadn’t been for Annie finding the windbreak, you and the baby might have gone viral before you even had a chance to tell Logan.’ Hope raised her eyebrows and Freya laughed again.

‘Yes, I’m so lucky that both of you were here.’

‘I feel pretty lucky myself. That was amazing.’ Annie was beaming when Hope looked at her. ‘I didn’t expect obs and gynae to be my thing, but now I’m not so sure.’

‘I never get over how incredible women in labour are.’ Hope’s eyes filled with tears too, as she looked back at Freya again, finally allowing herself to enjoy the moment as Annie slipped an arm around her shoulders. ‘We’re going to need to deliver the placenta, but we’ll be going old school and letting it deliver naturally, seeing as we haven’t got any oxytocin. So I reckon that means we’ve got time to call Logan, don’t you?’

‘I think so.’ As Freya spoke, Bea suddenly appeared between the windbreaks.

‘Oh wow, the baby’s already here!’ Her face was wreathed in smiles as she took in the sight, before continuing with the message she’d come to deliver. ‘The ambulance is on the way, they said it should be less than twenty minutes and that was about ten minutes ago.’

‘Thanks Bea, you’ve been brilliant.’ Hope blew her sister a kiss and then turned back towards Freya again. ‘I think we’ve still got plenty of time to call Logan.’

‘We’d better had before someone really does put it online.’ Freya dropped a kiss on her baby’s head. ‘Imagine finding out that you’re a father from someone else and knowing loads of other people knew before you did. That would be awful.’

‘Mmmm.’ Hope murmured her agreement, but she caught Annie’s eye just as her sister raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t had the chance to tell her why she could never truly get to know Joe Carter, but she needed to talk to her sisters about it before she went back to Port Agnes. There was suddenly newfound doubt in her mind that she was doing the right thing by not telling Joe who she was, and she needed to get things straight in her head again before she returned to Cornwall. Otherwise, there was a chance she might do something she came to regret.

11

‘Who was that?’ Tabitha looked up from the table as Hope came in from the patio, stuffing her mobile phone into her pocket as she did so.

‘A journalist from theWestern Telegraph, she wants to do an interview with me, Annie and Bea about delivering the baby.’

‘And how do you feel about that?’ her mother asked, closing the laptop she’d been working on at the kitchen table.

‘A bit embarrassed, but I’ll ask Annie and Bea if they want to do it when they get back from Haverfordwest…’ She trailed off for a moment, something nagging at her, telling her it might not be a good idea to go ahead. Maybe it was because she should probably ask permission from her managers at the hospital and midwifery unit first, in case anything she said might have some unforeseen impact on her work, but she couldn’t imagine what that might be. Everything had gone well and it was a real feel-good story, just as the journalist had said, but something about it was still bothering her.

‘Hey, little Miss Daydreamer, I know you girls think I’ve got nothing of any importance to say these days, but you can’t ignore my question altogether.’ Her father’s tone was jokey, and he was smiling as she turned to look at him, but she had absolutely no idea what question he’d just asked her.

‘Sorry, Dad, I was just thinking about work, and you’ve got plenty of important stuff to say, some of it’s just a bit niche in terms of how much it interests anyone else.’

‘Such as?’ Dave raised his eyebrows, but his trademark smile didn’t fade. It rarely did when he was with his family.

‘Oh, I don’t know, your keen interest in the impact of local culture on ale production, for one. I mean, the first thing you said when I told you I was moving to Cornwall is that it would give you an excuse to go the Blue Anchor in Helston and try the Spingo ale. Then you proceeded to tell me how the brewery started off making the ale for monks. After that we disappeared down a rabbit hole of what we like to call “Dad Talk”.’

He tried to look offended as she laughed, but he didn’t quite pull it off. ‘There’s nothing wrong with “Dad Talk”, every day’s a school day.’

‘That’s as may be,’ Tabby interjected. ‘But it means we all do what we used to do at school, and zone out when we’re not interested. Which is probably why Hope wasn’t listening when you were talking, in case you were waffling on about monks and ale again. That’s why she didn’t hear when you asked her how the baby’s family felt about the local paper covering the story.’

‘It was their idea apparently.’ Hope shrugged, trying to work out why she felt as uneasy as she did about the prospect of appearing in the local paper, but then Tabby hit the nail on the head.

‘Imagine if the journalist managed to find out about your birth story too. She’d think she’d hit the jackpot, combining the two, and she’d probably be able to sell it to the nationals!’

‘There’s no way she’d be able to find that out though, is there?’ Hope had meant it as a statement, but it came out as more of a question, because she had a horrible feeling she might be wrong. ‘Not unless I told her, or Annie and Bea did, and none of us would.’

‘I know that, and you’re all too clever to be tricked into revealing anything you don’t want to, even by the sneakiest sort of journalist.’ Tabby reached out, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. ‘I just meant, imagine how excited the journalist would be if they knew.’

‘Hmmm.’ Hope pulled a face; she didn’t find the prospect anything but terrifying. She knew how stories like that could snowball and it might lead to someone trying to track Laura down, and then maybe that would lead them to Joe. When Hope had recounted the story of how brilliant her sisters had been at Freya’s delivery, once the family were all back home, she’d also told them about the decision not to tell Joe who she was. So the last thing she wanted was to risk him finding out some other way.

‘You don’t have to feel responsible for keeping other people’s secrets.’ Her mother got to her feet, moving to stand in front of Hope, her words making it feel as if she could read her daughter’s mind. ‘Laura was the one who chose not to tell Joe, either when you were born, or later on. She’s the one who’s kept the secret from him all this time. It’s fine if you really don’t want to tell him, but I want that to be your choice, not because you want to protect Laura, or even me and your dad. We know you’re our daughter, but whatever you decide should be for you.’

As Alison folded Hope into her arms, she let herself be held in that way only her parents could manage – making everything feel as though it might turn out all right – and right now, she really needed to believe that. It was a few seconds before she felt able to pull away again.

‘It isn’t that I’m trying to protect Laura, or even you guys, I know nothing will ever change things between us. It’s just Joe’s situation and the fact that he and his wife are desperate for a baby. I just feel like, if I turn up and say, “Hi there, I’m your ready-made adult daughter,” it will cause so many problems. I’m far too old to give them the chance to be parents in the way they want, and I don’t need them to fulfil that role in any way. So I won’t be giving them anything, I’ll just be making things worse, because Esther will feel like Joe has already done something they dreamed of doing together and I’m scared it might damage their marriage.’

‘But what if you’re his only chance of being a father?’ Tabby’s words caught Hope by surprise, because she’d always gone out of her way to avoid giving Joe that title. Tabby seemed just as surprised, because she immediately shook her head. ‘Oh God, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. The last thing I want you to do is go off and find some other family because, like I always say, you’re our Hope, no one else’s, but I just can’t help thinking how sad I’d be if things were the other way around and we were your birth family, but we didn’t know you existed. I know I’d want you to reach out and make contact, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives.’