Page 10 of Find My Way Down to You

As the image disappears, I nod. I’m fine. I have to be.

I can’t bear one more look like the one Detective Rosado gave me.

I used to get it all the time. From teachers. Our neighbors. Anyone who knew what happened to London. Who hewasand who Iam.

The boy who survived.

Angela tells us to close up and go home. When she returns to her office, we shift into motion. Cleaning and putting things away.

While wiping down tables, I absently walk to table nine. The corner booth. A plate waits in the center, an untouched pizza crust the only thing left on it.

Cary washerewhen I ran outside, I remind myself.

“You missed a spot.”

Max leans over my shoulder while I scrub furiously. As if I can wipe Cary’s sharp face from my memory. The spark of gold in his black eyes—an ember flickering in the shadows—when he saw me in the alley.

“You could help,” I grunt.

“I am.”

“How?”

“By reminding you that cleaning is an avoidance tactic,” she says frankly.

“Excuse me,” I say, turning, “but I don’t remember signing up for a session with Dr.Cho.”

Her face darkens.

Max hates being compared to her parents. Specifically, her mom, one of Southern California’s most sought-after therapists. She’s longing for Max to follow in her footsteps. Max is majoring in art history at Santa Barbara State. Because she loves art, but also out of pure spite.

“That was rude,” she gripes.

“Sorry,” I say, genuine.

“You need to talk about it.”

“No, I don’t.” Frustration eddies in my blood again. “I need to finish cleaning. So I don’t get fired. So I can payrent.”

When her mouth twists sourly, I grin. She can’t argue against that point. She can, however, knock over a saltshaker before walking away. I welcome her pettiness. Anything to steady the ebb and flow of my thoughts.

“We should go out,” Junie suggests, predictably. An early night for him is just before the sun rises from the ocean. “Let’s get drinks. In honor of Hal!”

Tonia shakes their head. “Please. You just want to get wasted.”

“You know me too well!”

Junípero Cruz is sunshine poured into a human body. He’s all smiles and jokes. Lit up with the kind of energy I used to have.

“You in, Maxie?” he says.

Max meets my eyes. There’s a question waiting in hers:Areyouin?

We both know the answer.

Junie swings an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, you have to. For Hal.”

Tonia groans from the kitchen. “Please stop using a dead man’s name as an excuse for your debauchery.”