Page 129 of Find My Way Down to You

“Because…” My pulse pounds in my ears. “Because you were like me once.”

“I wasneverlike you.”

Disgust rolls down her face. Or is it envy? I never find out. With one click, the doors close. Locking me in.

My fists pound against the doors. They’re heavy and thick, but for a split second, I think I can shatter the wood. Like maybe I really am part Deathless. That I have the same strength Cary and Milos have. But the only thing that comes is a throbbing ache in my knuckles.

“She doesn’t remember her life before becoming what she is now.”

The voice comes from behind me.

It’s Poppy leaning against the mirrored wall. She’s in a fitted black suit, glittery red petals waterfalling down one side.Poppies.

I raise my eyebrows at her, looking for more.

She shrugs. “That’s part of the deal. In order to live here, by Milos’s side, souls must first drink from Lethe. Forget everything and everyone they’ve known.”

My jaw drops. Poppy smiles sorrowfully.

“Nothing comes without a cost. Even in the afterlife.”

I step back, taking in what she’s said. Every soul who’s bargained with Milos, who’s been given a different fate, has no memory of who they were before. Of course Aminta wouldn’t help me. What for? Her life as a mortal doesn’t exist anymore.

Poppy eases off the wall. “Don’t worry. He can’t do that to you. Not unless you ask him to.”

My face tightens into a scowl. “How long have you known about me?”

“Not very long. I knew you were different from thebeginning.” A playful smile unfurls on her gold-stained lips. “Other than that cute face and those curls.”

I don’t return her smile.

“But I should’ve known sooner. Because of Cary.”

My eyebrows shoot up.

Poppy laughs, bright and airy. “He’s talked about you for a long time now.” At my confused face, she goes quiet. “He hasn’t told you, then.”

“No,” I grind out. “No one around here tells me anything. It’s getting really old.”

“Sorry about that. But he has his reasons.”

I scoff. “Yeah. Selfish ones.”

Mirth sways through Poppy’s near-black eyes. She drifts closer. “I can’t speak for the ferrier or his actions. However, I can show you something. Close your eyes.”

I flinch back toward the doors.

She gives me a tender look. “I won’t hurt you, August. You know that.”

It takes a moment for my body to agree. As much as I distrust every Deathless now, Poppy’s warm in a way that feels familiar. The same way you wake up from a dream, unable to remember it, but somewhere in your bones, you know it was good.

I flutter my eyes shut.

“Now breathe in.”

Smoky earthiness fills my nose. An almondy taste coats the back of my throat.

When I blink, the room with its mirrored wall and blue-sky ceiling dissolves into a long hallway. The potent odor of ammonia hangs in the air. Harsh white lights burn my vision.