Page 16 of Something like Desire

“Well, for starters, why do you think he decided to start dating other people?”

Zach stares at his glass, opens his mouth, and then closes it again, like he’s searching for the right words. Then, after a long moment of silence, “Honestly? A few years ago, my mom started doing a lot of stuff without him. Going on trips with her friends and spending a lot of time out. Dad seemed kind of lonely for a while. Mom had an opportunity to open a restaurant like she’d always dreamed of doing and Dad was supposed to be part of it. Then suddenly, out of the blue, he asked my mom for a divorce. I feel like that made her realize how little attention she’d been giving him. She tried to make stuff better with him, but he said it was too late. He moved out and then in a matter of weeks he seemed unusually happy. I was holding out hope that he’d fix things with my mom. She was sorry and I thought he should accept the apology and give it a try. I followed him one day and saw him with your mom and then everything made sense. I don’t know how long they’ve been fooling around but I do know it’s a mistake.”

Zach sighs and looks so emotional that I feel an urge to reach out and touch his arm, despite how much of a grump he is.

I sit on my hands so I don’t act on my impulses. “Sorry to hear that.”

Up until now, Zach’s body language has exuded confidence but now he fiddles with the strap of his camera, looking deep in thought.

Maybe it’s time for a subject change. Something lighter perhaps. I clear my throat. “I saw you taking photos earlier.”

Zach clears his throat and glances away. “Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “As much as I hate to admit it, our parents look happy together. It’s going to sound stupid if I say this out loud, but I wanted to have a picture to take a closer look at their body language. I was thinking that maybe I could spot a weakness between them and home in on it. Like... figure out their kryptonite.”

So much for a lighter topic. I tried. “And? Did you?”

Zach takes the strap off his neck and turns on his camera, scrolling through, looking like he’s trying to find a particular picture. When he finds it, he zooms in and angles his camera so I can see the screen. Mom’s got her leg crossed toward Nicholas. She’s beaming widely, not an ounce of tension in her expression. Nicholas is laughing, his hand resting on Mom’s forearm, and he looks equally relaxed and happy.

“Oh,” I say. I don’t want to follow that with anything else. You don’t need to be a body language expert to be able to tell that that shot has all the posture and expression of a happy couple. Their connection looks genuine, effortless.

“Yeah.” Zach turns the camera off and sets it on the table.

“Are you a professional photographer?” I finally ask.

“I am,” he confirms. “I work for an advertising agency.”

“That’s awesome. Do you like it there?”

“It’s great. I love doing something I’m passionate about. What do you do?”

“HR, and I’m not exactly passionate about it right now.”

Zach squints at me thoughtfully. “HR seems rewarding, though. Helping people.”

“Yeah.” I sigh softly. “I went into HR becauseI wantedto help people, but I’ve been dealing with workers who get mad when someone else slurps their coffee or they don’t like the smell of someone’s lunch that they warmed up in the microwave. It doesn’t feel like I’m making much of a difference in the world.”

“Hmm,” he muses, staring at me. “Well, maybe there’s another company out there where you’d be helping people with more pressing issues?”

I adjust the strap of my tank top and stare down at the cement. “Honestly? Lately, I feel like maybe I just want to try something else altogether.”

Zach shrugs. “So, quit. Try a different field.”

I tilt my head in surprise. “Quit? Like it’s that easy. I have rent. Bills.”

“Find a job you love first andthenquit.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, what do you love to do?”

I tuck my knees up a bit and wrap my arms around them. “I want to be involved in the publishing field,” I say. “Writing or editing. Either would be great. At work I keep finding myself looking out the window, staring at this bus poster. There are these giant evergreen trees and a beautiful creek and it looks so peaceful. I feel like if I went somewhere like that, I’d feel inspired again.”

Zach leans forward, elbows on his knees. There’s a flash of interest in his eyes that would be hard to fake. “No way. I love that print ad too. I was trying to figure out if I knew the photographer who took that shot. The car ad, right?”

My heart skips a beat. “Yes! You’ve noticed it too?”

“Yeah. It’s beautiful. I keep thinking I’d love to go there myself—take some pictures, just feel creative again outside of when I have to be for work.”

I open my mouth to respond but am interrupted by a redheaded woman standing on a raised platform close to the bar.