Page 61 of Something like Desire

“Thank you,” I say. “I mean it. And after spending more time with you both, I get it. And I’m really happy for you.”

Just then, Mom appears next to me, beaming like she’s walked in on a peace treaty. She’s probably thrilled that we’re talking and not dramatically whisper-fighting.

“I’m going to get going. I’m off on a job hunt tomorrow,” I explain. “But I had a really good time, and I want to do it again soon.”

Zach’s got his guitar in its case and stands by the gate, apparently leaving as well.

We say goodbye to our parents and walk together toward our cars.

“Your mom’s pretty cool,” Zach says. “She and my dad seem better for each other than I thought.”

“Your dad’s not the superficial guy I thought he was either. We had a good talk.”

“Maybe we can hang out sometime soon,” Zach says. “I mean, just the two of us.”

I open my driver’s side door. “I’d like that.”

Zach sets his guitar case down on the driveway and steps toward me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rest my head against his chest, breathing in a mix of his fabric softener and cologne. When he kisses my forehead, the nearness of his lips to mine sends a pulse of desire through me. I tug gently on his neck, tilt my head, and kiss him, hungry, unhesitating. Our tongues find each other, teasing and tasting, his hands sliding up my back, tracing down my sides until they find my breasts.

“Is this okay?” he breathes.

“Yes,” I whisper, before I slam the driver’s side door shut and pull open the backseat. We tumble inside, shedding clothes in a rush, like we’ve both been waiting too long for this. Zach unhooks my bra, his fingers circling my nipples before his mouth replaces them, slow and deliberate. A soft gasp escapes me.

His hand trails lower, fingertips skimming the waistband of my panties, then slipping underneath. I arch toward him, my body making the decision before my mind can catch up.

“Are you sure?” Zach murmurs.

Instead of answering, I pull my panties down and meet his gaze. That’s all it takes. He grabs a condom and then he’s back, so close his breath brushes my cheek. The air feels charged, the space between us narrowing until there’s nothing left to wait for.

“Fuck me, Zach,” I whisper.

He slides inside me, and I let out a long exhale I hadn’t realized I was holding. I forget we’re in a car—it’s like we’re suspended outside of time and space. All I can focus on is the feeling of him, the sounds we make, the taste of his skin against my lips. We move together, faster and faster, perfectly in sync, until I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on. I’m so close to release.

“I really missed this,” Zach murmurs against my ear.

“Me too,” I manage, right before the wave hits me and everything shatters. He follows a heartbeat later, both of us collapsing into the cramped space, slick and spent.

“Holy shit,” Zach says, voice hoarse.

I let out a shaky laugh. “You’re good at that.”

“You should talk,” he says, threading his fingers through mine.

I wish we were in my apartment, and we could just lie in each other’s arms, and then go for another round in a little while, but instead we’re in my car like a couple of teenagers and my mom and Zach’s dad aren’t all that far away.

“What do you want this to be?” Zach asks after we both finally catch our breath.

“What I want and what I need might be two different things.”

“I want us to be together,” Zach says as I reluctantly put my clothes back on. “I know it may be weird because of our parents... but I like you. I want to see where this goes.”

My stomach flutters. These are the words that I—maybe subconsciously at first—wanted to hear for so long and now he’s saying them with so much sincerity that I believe it with every part of me. But there’s just a little nag of hesitation that’s lingering, stopping me from being truly happy in this moment. Am I ready to jump into another relationship this quickly? I wanted time to rediscover myself. Can I do that at the same time that I get to know Zach?

He pulls on his clothes and reaches for me again. His skin is warm and there’s a zing even in the energy between our hands. “Do you need more time?” he whispers, pressing his lips against my temple.

“I don’t want to need time, but I want to feel like I really have my life together before I do this.” I grip his hand like my body’s afraid to let him go even though my mind thinks otherwise. “With my last relationship, I jumped in headfirst but this... this feels unlike anything I’ve felt before.”

“I feel it too,” Zach says, and suddenly we’re kissing again and neither of us shows any sign of wanting to pull away.