Page 60 of Something like Desire

“How’s it going?” he asks at the same time as I say, “How are you?”

Zach gives me a soft smile that instantly makes my knees feel like jelly. The energy zips between us and it’s subtle but unmistakable. It’s like the air has a little extra buzz, like we’re tuned into the same frequency and the static’s just waiting to spark. I feel it in my chest—in the way my breath catches for half a second longer than it should.

I glance at Mark and Gia, still wrapped up in each other’s arms, and ache for Zach to hold me like that too.

Searching for a change of subject that will allow my body temperature to cool down, I gesture at Mom and Nicholas, who are apparently sharing a very funny joke. Mom’s got her face buried in Nicholas’s shoulder, and they’re both laughing so hard they might end up falling off their chairs and into the fire. “I wish I knew what the joke was. It looks pretty funny.”

Zach leans back, amusement flickering in his eyes. “They both find each other very entertaining. Could be a corny knock-knock joke for all we know.”

A few minutes of silence follow.

Zach clears his throat and runs his fingers through his beard. “The last few weeks, not talking to you. That was hard.”

A strange ache presses around my heart, fast and breathless. “I felt the same.”

“It just caught me off guard. The fact that we were so open about everything was one of the things I liked best about you.”

I inhale a sharp breath. I don’t know if there’s any chance of coming back from this, but I want more than anything for there to be a way to go back to how we were before, on that dance floor together when the world around us blurred out of focus. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt, and I don’t want to go through any more time without it. But at the same time, I just got out of a relationship that was nearly a decade long. If I want what Zach and I have to last, I need to make sure I’m doing things the right way.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you,” I say, my voice catching with emotion. “I should have told you right away. But at first I was confused and then I realized that I liked you so much that I thought I’d ruin things between us if I did.”

“I know. And at first I was angry after you finally told me, but then it turned more into missing you,” Zach says, reaching out and finally touching my hand.

“I missed you too,” I whisper.

“Are you going to play us some campfire songs?” Nicholas hollers. Worst timing ever.

“I was thinking I might. I haven’t played since that night at Hibiscus.” Zach takes his guitar out of its case and holds it firmly against his body and I have never wished to be an inanimate object more. I want to feel his touch on me more than anything else and I don’t know how to get back to that place with him again after what happened between us.

“Here’s a melody I’ve been working on,” he says, and plays a series of chords. Its easy tone relaxes me.

“I love it.”

“I just have to figure out the lyrics.” Zach smiles at me and it feels like an invitation.

Grab my heart and squeeze it a little tighter, Zach, why don’t you?

“I... I’d love to,” I stammer. “I’d be honored to.”

“Do you take requests?” Mom calls.

Zach grins at her. “Sure.”

“Can you play any Fleetwood Mac?”

Zach starts playing “Landslide” and singing with that beautiful smoky tone of his and I lean back against my chair and close my eyes because I feel like if I look at him, everyone here will know how much I’ve already fallen for him, mind and body and soul.

After a few more songs and some great conversation, plus a surprisingly solid rendition of “Stairway to Heaven” by Mark on Zach’s guitar, the newlyweds head out. Mom hugs them goodbye and comes over to ask Zach about his music. I leave them talking and head over to Nicholas.

“Thanks for having us over,” I say. “I really hope we can do this again sometime.”

He pats the empty spot on the chair beside him. “Would it be okay if we talked for a minute?”

“Sure,” I say, even though the air suddenly feels a little awkward. I sit down, turning to face him, mildly concerned he’s about to bring up the whole dance class stunt again.The Phantom of the Operawill forever be ruined by that hideous mask.

“I want you to know that what I have with your mom is beautiful,” he says, completely sincere. Earlier, I thought he looked like the forgotten member of a ’90s boy band but suddenly he’s giving off handsome older gentleman energy.

“I love her,” he continues. “This isn’t some rebound or passing thing. It’s real. I don’t want you worrying about her getting hurt.”