Page 66 of If I Go Down with This Ship

So this is what pirates do for fun.

I survey the abandoned pieces of wood and sail scattered over the beach.Though the crew got much of the work done, it’s been forgotten in the sand, food and alcohol their only concerns as the moon rises ever higher.There is no sense of urgency, nothing but joy clear on their faces.

Mumbling, I take a bite of mango, my fingers sticky with the fruit as I shove it into my mouth.I lick my fingers as I set aside the leaf I ate it off of, turning to find Silas watching me.Half his face is hidden in shadows, half lit by the warm glowof the bonfire.His lips part as I suck on my fingers, and I stop, realization dawning.

Clearing my throat, I move to stand, but the half-empty bottle of liquor is pressed into my hands, and Jack pulls me back down and slaps me on the shoulder warmly.I glance at Silas before I tip the bottle back numbly and take a long gulp.

It burns a path down my throat, and my eyes water at the fumes as I gasp and pass it quickly to Jack.He cackles and then easily takes a swig before handing it off to the next person.I’m one for sweet wines, ciders, and nutty pilsners.Thatwas none of those things.

Another bottle appears, this one fuller than the last, and it doesn’t take long until it’s passed into my hands once more.I cradle it in my lap as I glance up, searching for a familiar silhouette, but Silas is nowhere to be seen.

“Hurry up!”someone calls from down the line.“Don’t take all night!”

I take a smaller swig this time before shoving the bottle clumsily into Jack’s hands.Clearing my throat, I stand, and someone steadies me as I sway.

“Easy there, mate.”

Snorting, I brush them off, shuffling through the sand and away from the fire.Fuck, that stuff worked fast.I press my hands to my flushed face, relishing the chilly breeze that whips around me as I stumble toward the trees.My steps are slow, my movements sluggish.I kick up sand as I stagger to a tree and pause before leaning on a forearm against it.Wow, I really need to pee.Blinking against the dimness, I unlace my pants.

The last time I was this drunk, I bought a plane ticket to Venice.I’d meant to go to Vienna, but I’d bought the cheapest one I could find, and it felt silly to waste it.Oh, I long for thedays when my biggest problem was traveling to the wrong city.Things were so simple back then.Privileged.

I wasn’t obsessed with a handsome captain, and my job wasn’t running about a ship full of pirates.It was writing silly little stories.About a month ago, my life was justsimpler.I’d been struggling in my love life, failing at it, even, but that was nothing compared to this.

Something moves in the bushes somewhere ahead of me.Frowning, I finish off and tie up my pants.

“You don’t understand,” someone hisses.

I strain to hear more, but the voices are hushed.I take a step into the dark, pressing myself along a tall, lean palm tree.

“What’s there not to understand?”And I realize it’s Charlotte.Her throaty alto is distinctive, even as a whisper.“You’re out here, running around and granting wishes, hatching a silly revenge plot after someone was stood up at the altar.What kind of pirate captain are you anyway?”

The other voice is a fraction louder as he says, “I take care of my crew.”My lips part, a soft exhale escaping as I recognize Silas.He’s silent for a moment, and I clamp a hand over my mouth, desperate not to make a sound.“You don’t understand,” Silas continues.“My crew will follow me to the edge of the Earth if I ask them.Because I take care of them.”

“You didn’t take care of me,” Charlotte says.

Oh.Oh, I know that tone well.I press my hands to the tree to steady myself.My head is spinning, but I try to wash away the drunken haze, to zero in on their words, on the meaning behind them.Pulled to their voices, I take a step closer, wincing at the soft crunch under my feet.

“I tried,” Silas says.“I did my best to take care of you, Charlotte, I really did.I tried to show you a different path toyour goal, to show you that things can be different.But you refused then, and you refuse now, to see reason.”

“I loved you.”

My heart thunders against my ribs as I lean in closer.I knew it.I knew I saw something there.The very way she said his name flaunted the history between them.The cut on my hand throbs in time with my pulse, and I bite down on my lip, focusing on the line of black thread along the webbing.

“I know.”Silas’s tone is resigned.

“But you didn’t love me.”

“No,” Silas says.

I don’t know why, but that word settles something in me.I feelrelieved.Pressing my hands to my face, I lean back against a tree.The thin tree creaks, not nearly large enough to support my weight, and the splintering of bark slices right through the quiet.

“Who’s there?”Silas calls.

Fumbling, I slide back into the trees, one step after another, until I can see nothing beyond the brush.Squatting down, I lean on my good hand for balance and duck my head just as Silas crosses to where I was moments earlier.

“Likely just an animal,” Charlotte says, closer now.

I press my lips together to keep quiet as they both search the darkness.Finally, Silas sighs.“You’re probably right.”He retreats to the trail, and I relax in relief.