Page 82 of If I Go Down with This Ship

His hands slide down to grip either side of the ruined shirt, tearing it completely before pushing the scraps down my shoulders.“It was already ruined,” he says with a shrug.“I’ll get you a new one.”

And though I feel like a cover model for a romance novel, it seems almost fitting on this beach with my pirate captain.My hands reach automatically for the ties of his pants, and he scrambles for mine, and before we know it, we are pulled to each other once more, skin against skin.We move together, me on top this time, pressing him into the sand, one of my hands on his hips, the other tangled in his long, mussed hair.He kisses me fiercely, curses caught in his throat as we speed up, fighting against an inevitable end.

When he cries out my name, shuddering as I press a sloppy kiss to his sweat-slick skin, I can picture my entire future with him, a home in London or wherever he wants to live, sitting on the porch in the morning, drinking coffee, our hearts full.

And when we flop down into the sand with secret smiles and I lean up on an elbow to kiss his cheek, there’s the aching realization that I will never see that future with him.You wouldn’t know it with his scars and ink and wry smile, but he’s holding my heart with the utmost care.

And now that I’ve handed it over to someone, I’m terrified to let go.

“Where have you two been?”Charlotte asks when Silas and I emerge from the trees.

As if she doesn’t know.

The sun is still rising over the horizon, casting a warm orange hue over the water.I’ll miss the sunsets, the stars, the distinct lack of smog.I glance at Silas with a weak smile.

I’ll miss him.

“We had things…” Silas trails off as he rocks back on his heels.

Charlotte smiles.She notes our lack of shirts before her eyes go to my hair, which I’m certain is a mess.There’s no point in trying to control it.

“Things,” she says, straightening with a laugh.

She claps Silas on his back as she crosses the beach and motions to some of her crew at the longboats.

The foremast is repaired, and the crew is securing it aboard the ship.I want to point to his ship and tell Silas that he can still walk away.He has been their captain for long enough; let someone else take over.

But he admires his crew with a proud, soft smile, and I know he won’t stand down from this thing he loves.

Silas nods to me before jogging across the beach to the longboats.I watch from afar as he helps lift barrels and supplies into them, his muscles moving, sweat glistening on his shoulders and chest.

“Where’s yer shirt?”Pip asks, sidling up next to me.Sirpads after him, licking his chops and pleased as if Pip just fed him a treat.

I cough as Pip’s smile widens, his brows arched.I try to come up with another lie, but this crew is clearly well aware of my and Silas’s relationship.

“Oh, you very well know, Pip.”

He smiles and crosses his arms over his chest.“Aye, I do.”He glances dramatically around the beach.“I reckon we all do.”

“That’s nice,” I mutter, turning to go.

“It’s all right to smile from time to time, Laszlo!”he calls after me.I shake my head at him, but even now I can feel my features shifting, the tug of my lips as I laugh.

I’ll miss this crew, too.

I sprint across the beach and help fill the last of the longboats.Charlotte’s crew is nearly finished, their boats traveling between her ship and the privateering ship anchored in the bay, moving supplies to her vessel.

Silas saunters toward me, sinking into the wet sand as he wipes an arm across his brow, catching sweat.Even now, the scent of him overwhelms me, and it takes every bit of my willpower not to tug him back down to our secluded beach.

The last of both crews on the beach stop what they’re doing and turn to the horizon.Charlotte sidles up next to Silas and lifts a discarded piece of fabric in the air.I see the spark of fire from the longboat bobbing near the privateering ship.My gaze clings to the ball of flame as it flies up and over, landing on the ship’s deck.

At first, there’s nothing.

And then it catches.

The fire burns fast and hot.The flames lap at the wood, engulfing it within minutes as the longboat rows rapidly away from the flaming ship.I scan the beach, pivoting to see the last of our new crew who have not yet boarded a longboat stop and stare.

“Why burn it?”I ask, leaning toward Silas.