Page 34 of All Hale the Queen

“Mmm, I think we should institute a new holiday… naked Sunday.”

Jesus, this man’s morning voice is a thing of beauty, gruff and smooth against my lips. We kiss, and I feel his hands untie the sash of my pink satin robe, sliding it down my shoulders and allowing it to pool at my feet.

I turn in his arms, pressing my bare body against his. No man has ever been able to turn me on within seconds. Gripping the back of my knee, he lifts it over his hip to open me up for whatever he has planned this morning. I’m sure it’s going to be delicious.

And then the doorbell rings.

Antonio’s body instantly goes on alert, every muscle seeming to tighten. “Are you expecting anyone?” he snaps, fully in protector mode now.

“No, but…”

I don’t get the chance to finish my sentence because he turns and storms toward the living room, giving me an excellent view of his muscular ass. Hisbare, muscular ass.

“Antonio,” I hiss, snatching my robe from the floor before scampering along behind him. But he’s a man on a mission.

Just before he reaches the door, a knock sounds and I hear a familiar voice. “Mom, are you up?”

Antonio’s clenched fists relax when he, too, recognizes Phoenix’s voice. My head whips around in panic, looking for a hiding place for a six-and-a-half-foot bear of a man. Spotting something, I grab his wrist and drag him toward the window.

“Hide here and be quiet,” I order, pushing his back against the glass and yanking the navy drapes closed in front of him. These windows face my side yard, and I pray Mr. Yoshida isn’t out mowing today. If so, he’ll be getting quite the show.

Slipping into my robe, I call out, “Coming!” and hear Antonio mutter, “You were about to.” I slap my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, glancing back at the closed curtains just as I unlock the door. And that’s when I see it.

A penis.

A very large, very erect penis sticking out between the two drawn drapes like some kind of perverted flag. It looks like it’s floating in mid-air.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It’s the only part of Antonio visible, but it’s a very obvious part. Before I can do anything about the rogue cock, the door swings open, and my son is walking in. He obviously heard me unlock the deadbolt.

“Hey, Mom. I came by to see how you were doing,” he says cheerfully, and I pull him against me, making sure to angle Phoenix away from the lewd sight poking out from between the curtains.

“Oh, I’m so happy you’re here,” I gush, my voice way too high-pitched.

My son pats me on the back as he holds me, and I can hear the concern in his tone. “Are you okay? Is something hurting from last night?”

I suppress a panicked giggle when all my mind can think is, “Yep. My vagina because I spent all night in bed with a stud who’s currently hiding behind the curtain, oblivious to the fact that his flag is waving.”

“No, no,” I say instead. “I was just… um…” My mind scrambles for a way to resolve this before Phoenix looks in that direction.Ah, misdirection! That’s the ticket.My eyes flit to the oppositeside of the room, away from the windows, and I get an idea. “I was rearranging my mantel, and I’m struggling with what to do with it. You know, with the new baby coming and all, I’ll need to make space for new pictures.”

Phoenix’s brow creases in confusion. “Okaaaay,” he draws out. “I’m sure we have time since Helix and Nicolette’s little one isn’t due until the spring.”

“You know me. I like to plan ahead,” I say a bit hysterically, grabbing his hand and pulling him across the room. “See?” I wave a gameshow hostess hand at the whitewashed mantel.

When I glance back at where Antonio is hiding, I see the floating penis is still there. Oh good god. This is a nightmare.

I return my gaze to Phoenix, who’s got one arm folded at his waist and the fingers of the other hand tapping his chin. “You have a lot of Reece up here. Maybe you can put some of them in an album.” He still sounds perplexed as to why I’m making such a big deal about this.

“Since you work in marketing, you’re really good at determining how things should be laid out to look appealing,” I say, internally cheering my own genius at that lead in. “You stay right there and focus. You know, so you can get a feel for it. I’ll back up a bit and get an overview from that side of the room.”

“Um, okay,” he says, and I’m sure he’s going to call his brothers later and inform them that I might need to see a neurologist in the near future.

Once I’m sure Phoenix is studying the mantel, I tiptoe-run across the room, flicking Antonio’s penis with my finger. “Your dick is hanging out,” I whisper, hoping he hears me.

To my relief, the cock disappears, and I hear a low chuckle from behind the drapes. I press my hand to my chest and sigh in relief as I return to stand beside my son, who’s still studiously inspecting the area over my fireplace.

“Any ideas?” I ask brightly.