Page 35 of See You in Your Dreams

“Never mind,” I say quickly, glancing toward the sidewalk. “I should get going so you can do what you’ve got to do.”

Something in Dylan’s face firms, his uncertainty vanishing. He steps closer, leaving only a few inches separating us. “No, it’s fine. I want to tell you about it.” He bites his lip, my gaze locking on the unconscious gesture. “It’s actually one of the reasons I invited you over.”

Okay…

Unsure what to make of that, I offer a hesitant nod.

Dylan takes a deep breath. My pulse quickens when he doesn’t move, his warm gaze gripping me. “My dad left a couple years ago after I came out. I’m gay.”

My heart stutters to a stop.Oh, shit. I mean, I’ve definitely had my suspicions, but up until this moment, I at least had plausible deniability. Now that the truth’s out there, there’s no hiding it from myself. And I have a sinking feeling I know where this is going.

Seemingly oblivious to my internal freakout, Dylan continues. “Mom’s been really cool about it, and Patrick doesn’t care. But, well…as you heard, Tommy isn’t exactly the pinnacle of acceptance. He blames me for driving Dad away.”

Dylan chuckles self-deprecatingly, and I’m once again overcome by the urge to draw him close and comfort him. “Not that he’s entirely wrong. I mean, my sexuality’s not the only reason Dad split, but it’s hard not to consider it a factor when he left right after I told him. It’s not exactly a secret at this point—my friends know, and I’m sure word’s gotten around, even if I don’t advertise it.”

I swallow as Dylan shifts, closing most of the remaining gap between us. His chest brushes lightly against mine while his nervous breaths ghost over my lips. I’m afraid to ask the question filling my mind, but I know I have to.

“Why…why are you telling me this now?” I croak.

“Because…” Dylan stops, hesitates, clears his throat. “Because I like you, Ash. And I was sort of hoping you might feel the same.”

And there it is.My stomach sinks at the nervous hope contorting Dylan’s handsome face. Staring into his golden-brown eyes, the urge to kiss him is nearly overpowering. It was hard enough pretending I didn’t have a crush on him before. Now that he’s admitted it’s mutual, there’s only one course remaining to me—the one I should’ve taken in the first place.

Planting my hands on Dylan’s chest, I shove him gently away. “I don’t. Sorry.”

My heart cracking at the crestfallen look on his face, I turn and flee into the fading light.

fourteen

Dylan

So, confiding in Ashwent about as terribly as I’d feared it would.

Watching him walk away from me was the smallest and most pathetic I’ve felt since my dad did the same. I’d spilled my guts to Ash, confessing not only my sexuality but also my feelings for him, and he’d barely managed to muster a handful of words in response.

I don’t. Sorry.

After the initial gut punch of rejection wears off, I try to console myself. Maybe he just needs time to work through his own emotions. Ash isn’t exactly the patron saint of sharing. I figure I’ll see him at school and get a chance to apologize or clear the air.

But the next day, Ash slips through the halls of Banton High like a ghost, arriving at our shared classes right before the bell and bolting the instant class ends. He skips all our usualhangouts, muttering some half-assed excuse when I try to catch him.

Give him some space,I tell myself.He’ll come to you when he’s ready.Three days later, however, my patience is wearing thin. I have to talk Cat down from confronting him in the middle of the Calc class they share, and even Alexis has some choice words for that ‘heartless scoundrel.’

By Friday, I’ve had enough of Ash avoiding me. I finally manage to corner him after school by convincing Ms. Rolan to let me out a few minutes early. I’m there waiting for him in the parking lot when he bolts out the doors before the final bell has even stopped ringing.

“Hey!” I shout after him, jogging to catch up to his long strides. “Wait up!”

His shoulders tense, and I can tell he’s considering making a run for it. The realization sends a jolt of anger through me even as he slows.

“If you’re going to ditch me, you could at least tell me why,” I snap when I reach him.

His green eyes remain fixed on the broken asphalt. “I told you before, I’m not interested in making any friends.”

“Bullshit!” I glare at the back of his head and the styled black hair there. “You can’t pretend that the last couple weeks never happened. Like it or not, wearefriends, and you owe me an explanation for what the hell’s going on with you.”

“I don’t owe you anything.” The words come out dull and listless, more resigned than angry.

Still keeping his eyes averted, he resumes walking. I stare after him, my own anger fading to something closer to desperation. “Please, just tell mewhy. Is it…” I swallow, forcing the words out past the sudden lump in my throat. “Is it because I’m gay?”