Page 54 of Wreckage and Rain

I close my eyes. In through the nose. Hold. Out through the mouth. I count down from five.

I open the post.

Photo one. Wide shot. The whole team at a long table at what looks like The Butcher Block. Sonny at the head. Calloway laughing. Colt next to my father-in-law, laughing too. Cheyenne next to Colt. Hand resting on his forearm. Caption: TIDEWATER CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR DREAM TEAM.

Photo two. Colt with his arm around Cheyenne's shoulder. They are both laughing. He has the smile he doesn't give me anymore.

Photo three. Cheyenne leaning in. Her mouth at his cheek. Could be a kiss. Could be her saying something into his ear. The caption could be anything. The photo says one thing.

Photo four. A bar I don't recognize. Music venue. Dark walls. They are standing close. Cheyenne is tucked under his arm like she lives there.

Photo five. Cheyenne whispering into his ear. His head is bent down to hear her. His eyes are closed.

Photo six. Sonny shaking Colt's hand. Approval shot. Father and son. The handshake my husband has been chasing his whole life. He looks almost ready to cry from relief. I can see it from here, from this gas station.

Photo seven. Cheyenne kissing the side of Colt's head as he laughs.

Photo eight. A limousine. Colt getting into the back seat. Cheyenne falling onto him. His hand on her waist. They are both laughing.

The carousel ends.

I scroll back to photo one. I scroll through them again. I take a screenshot of all eight. I don't know yet what I will use them for. Maybe a lawyer. Maybe to remind myself, later, when I am tempted to soften, exactly what I saw.

I sit in the parking lot of a gas station and I don't cry.

I am not going to cry here.

I am not going to cry anywhere a stranger might think it is about a flat tire.

I call Autumn.

She answers on the second ring. "Where are you."

"On I-95. Coming home."

"Don't go to that house tonight. Stay at my place."

"You've already seen them."

"I've already seen them."

"Are they real?"

"Three locations. The firm's official account. They are real."

"Okay."

"Summer. I mean it. Don't go to that house alone."

"I have to go to the house first."

"For what?"

"For my things. I am not leaving any of it with him."

A pause. Autumn knows me. Autumn doesn't waste her breath telling me to do the easier thing.

"Be careful. I'll meet you there if you want."