Page 62 of All For You

Oodles gave me a mournful face to match my mood. He’d been in the dumps for the past week, lost his appetite, was sluggish, not interested in playing. At first, I’d thought it hadbeen because I was so low. And Jane was miserable when she visited. Mum was constantly popping over, wringing her hands about what a mess it all was and how her two girls would never settle down now with a good prospect.

Then I’d wondered if Oodles was ill. I’d taken him into Knightley for tests yesterday, and our follow-up today would tell us the results.

“C’mon, boy. At least I can fix one thing today,” I said, leading Oodles out of the car and into the vet’s.

Inside, the clinic receptionist, Hetty Bates, chatted my ear off about the other clients this morning as she ushered me into the back. Knightley greeted me and explained the results, going through the paperwork.

“I don’t understand this,” I said as he read off a whole bunch of numbers and names.

“This young lad has nothing wrong with him.” Knightley gave Oodles a chuck under the chin. “But still, there’s something wrong in his life.” He sighed. “I’ve seen this happen before.”

“What is it?” I asked. Some sort of illness? Oh no, on top of everything else, I couldn’t handle if anything happened to my beloved pupster.

“Has Oodles seen Max since a week ago?”

“No, of course not. I mean, I love Max, butthat man…”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to remind you of bad memories.”

How embarrassing. Even if Knightley hadn’t seen the heated exchange between Darcy and me at the front door promoted on the show’s socials, everyone at the inn must have heard or seen that appalling scene.

“But,” Knightley went on, “I’m pretty sure that explains why Oodles is down.”

I tilted my head, puzzled. What explained why he was down?

“He’s grieving. I noticed Oodles formed an instant bond with Max. Over and beyond the connection many dogs have. And hehasn’t seen him for a week. All indicators point to the fact that he’s missing him terribly.”

I got it. In a way, I’d missed Charlie terribly since she’d gotten together with my sister. I loved that my best friend and agent had found happiness, but she wasn’t my special person anymore like she’d been before. All those nights experimenting with a new cocktail as we edited sex scenes, laughing around the kitchen table in my much-loved thatched-roof cottage in the woods, were no longer. I missed her. I loved Jane, but I couldn’t have the same down-and-dirty conversations with her or the same endless discussions about writing craft and tropes.

“What’s the cure?” I asked, knowing and hating the answer.

Knightley fiddled with his stethoscope. “He’s not going to see Max again?”

A hollow ache spread under my ribs at the prospect of never seeing Max again. Part of me missed Darcy too, and that frustrated me. “No. Never.”

“Then only time will heal him. Or get a new companion for him.”

I looked at the scruffy, scraggly fur ball at my feet, and my heart thudded, heavy and wrong. I couldn’t get another dog. There was nothing I could do for his sadness, like there was nothing I could do for mine.

I stared at the wall, tears pricking at my eyes. A local news article had been pinned to the bulletin board about the flurry of animal adoptions since the Amor Inn retreat had screened the previous weekend. The article featured a photo of our dog training on that Sunday. Of course the piece included a photo of Emma, a flash of pink and bright blond hair amid the peaceful country scene.

“I haven’t seen Emma since Amor Inn,” I said. “We should all get together.”

“Yeah.” His face was distant, and he didn’t seem certain. “Maybe. She’s been in London a lot.”

He looked positively mournful. God. Look at the three of us sad sacks.

“Okay,boy. We’re heading outside soon,” I promised Oodles as I drove back home. Instead of going into the front door, I strode miserably through the wildflower garden, across the pasture, and into the forest.

I wanted to enjoy the day and the scenery, but I had to think about what Charlie had said about my chapters. Why had I made those first pages so dull and lacking in tension?

Maybe because that was all I knew of love.

I’d had no conflict, but also no passion with Jake. Maybe I no longer believed in true love? That would have spelled a definite end to my profession. But what else would I do for a living? I wasn’t trained for anything else. Head in hands, I peered around at the moss-bound yew trees and winding path. I fully expected, in a terrible irony of fate, for a runaway horse to come crashing through the forest to remind me what Charlie said about my terrible first pages.

My phone rang with FaceTime. Tabitha. I usually had my phone on silent while I walked, but right now, I was desperate for a distraction.

Her big blues and shiny blond hair filled the screen.