Page 52 of Hold Fast

“Hang the gossip!” he said, his voice a near shout. He took a steadying breath and fought to regain his composure. “Why do you care about the gossip? Why does it matter what anyone would say?”

“Because I have nae interest in being the source of gossip again,” she snapped.

“Again? Have ye been accused of seducing a laird before?”

He regretted it the moment it was out of his mouth. But itwasout of his mouth, and he couldn’t take it back. Una’s eyebrows slammed together and her eyes narrowed. Her mouth was pinched in a tight line and fury radiated off of her like the crackling after a lightning strike.

“That is nae any of your business,m’laird,” she hissed.

“Goddamnit, Una. You promised me you wouldnae call me that,” he said through his teeth, scrubbing his hands over his face and pacing like a caged beast, the stitches in his hip tugging painfully with every agitated step.

She turned to leave, and he darted around her, blocking the door with his body.

“Let me go,” she said.

“We need to talk.”

“I think you’ve said quite enough,Ewan.”

He didn’t like that either. He didn’t like the way her tongue sliced his name to ribbons. He didn’t like having made her angry. He didn’t like having hurt her. He didn’t like being so out of control that he spoke without thinking. He didn’t like the thought of her being far away and unprotected. He didn’t like any of it.

And nobody could fix a mess of his own making but him.

“Please, Una,” he said. “I didnae mean that.”

“Aye, you did. And aye,theydid. Theydidaccuse me of seducing the laird. And worse. But I didnae seduce him. I didnae want anything to do with him. My father offered me up when the laird asked, without a single care for what I wanted.”

His stomach roiled.

Una drew herself tall, looking into his eyes. “It was hell. He was cruel and violent. He treated his dog better than he treated me, which is nae saying much. But the gossip was insult to injury.” She contorted her face into a sneer. “‘Poor Una. This is what happens when you aim above your station.’ ‘Poor Una. He wouldnae beat her so if she only did her duty.’”

His blood ran cold.

“I did my duty,” she said, her voice as hard as a blade. “Every night, even in my courses. I did my duty. But I didnae seduce him. I didnae ask for it. I didnaewantit. And yet they talked anyway.”

Her chest heaved, and he felt her breath on his face. His own breathing was just as labored. The enormity of the moment was too great for calm.

“I want to ride there right now and kill him with my bare hands,” he said in a tight voice. “I want to wrap my hand around his throat while you watch and make him beg you for forgiveness while I watch the life drain out of his eyes. And then I want him thrown to the crows.”

Una gasped.

“I hate him, Una,” he whispered. “I have hated him since I was a lad, since I learned what hate was. Or so I thought. But it seems that I have only harbored mild dislike for him all my life because it pales in comparison to what I feel now, how Ihatehim now.”

Una took a step back, and he resisted the urge to grab her and pull her close. Her eyes welled with tears, and she clutched her apron in her hands. But she shook herself, swiping at the eyes and clenching her jaw.

“I willnae be the source of such gossip again, m’laird.”

“Ewan,” he said gently.

“Ewan, I willnae do it. I cannae bear it. I need people to trust me. They willnae bring me their sick if they dinnae trust me.”

“It doesnae matter what they think of you,” he said stubbornly, knowing it was the wrong thing to say but believing it nonetheless.

“It matters to me! Are you nae listening to me? It matters tomewhat they think of me!”

“What about whatIthink of you?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.