Page 78 of Hold Fast

“Aye. We had it all worked out. If it is a boy, Joan thought we should name him after my father. And if it’s a girl... we thought we’d name her after my father as well. Fergus is such a fine name, even for a lass.”

He gaped at her for a moment.

“Dinnae you agree, Ewan?”

“Aye,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes, “Fergus is the finest name for a lass.”

He hesitantly came to her, going to his knees beside the bed.

“I’m so sorry, Una. I shouldnae have left.”

She nodded, running her fingers through this thick, wavy hair. He bent his head and his shoulders relaxed as she gently dragged her fingernails across his scalp and back again.

“Where did ye go?”

“I went to see David.” He sighed. “He’s a widower. Did you ken?”

“Nay,” Una said quietly.

“She died in the birthing,” Ewan said, hanging his head.

Una nodded slowly, understanding taking shape. “I take it the bairn didnae survive either?”

Ewan shook his head and then grabbed her hand with his, pressing his cheek to her palm.

“And?”

“And he told me what a horse’s ass I was.”

“I like David.”

“Aye,” Ewan snorted. “He’s quite fond of you, himself.”

He took her hand in both of his, turning it over so her palm faced up. Una felt more tears welling in her eyes. She nodded, ducking her gaze low. He reached a big, calloused finger under her chin and tipped it up.

“I’m sorry if this isnae what you wanted,” she replied, her lip quivering.

Ewan climbed onto the bed and gathered her into his arms. He tucked her head under his chin.

“Och, Una. It isnae that I dinnae want this. ’Tis only that it scares the piss out of me. But you are such a gift to me, Una, and I ken this bairn will be as well.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Aye,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “You’ll never be rid of me now.”

They were quiet for a while, Una appreciating his solid warmth and the steady beating of his head beneath her cheek.

“Do you remember when you told me that you were far too stubborn to let Connor die?”

“Aye,” she said, snuggling closer.

“See that that same stubbornness applies to yourself. Alright?”

“Of course,” she whispered, turning her face up to him.

He kissed her gently, threading his fingers through the long strands of her hair. She gripped his shoulders and tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back and murmured against her lips, “Shhh. Just let me love you, Una.”

He kissed her lips twice and then kissed the tip of her nose and her forehead before wrapping his arms around her and tucking her into his side. As Una heard his breaths deepen and felt his body relax, she felt his hand shift on its own to cover her belly. She smiled and surrendered herself to sleep.