Page 29 of The CEO and the Mountain Man

Every muscle in River’s face, neck, and shoulders tensed. Then the trickle of tears turned into a flood. Sobs wracked his chest.

Clark cringed, likely judging himself for misreading the moment as badly as I had. He opened his arms to his son, and River stumbled forward, burying his face in his dad’s neck.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I tried. I really tried, Dad.”

Tears sprang to Clark’s eyes. “What could you possibly be sorry for, son?”

“Mom,” he choked out. “I tried to stop her, but I couldn’t. It’s all my fault.”

Clark stared at me, impossibly confused.

“Riv? Are you talking about the accident?”

River nodded, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

Clark tightened his grip. “None of that is your fault, Riv. There was ice under the snow. It was just a really bad intersection.”

“No, Dad,” River said between sobs. “Something was wrong with Mom.”

Clark exchanged a look with me. More confusion and concern.

“River, son. What was wrong with your mom?” he asked softly.

“I know you think she was proud of me, but she hated that I was gay,” he said, his voice wrecked. “Hatedit.”

“Son, your mother loved you.”

“No, she didn’t, Dad,” River insisted. “You never saw it. You never saw how bad she got.”

“What didn’t I see?” Clark asked, so fucking brave.

River sniffled and stepped back, hanging his head, unable to look Clark in his eyes.

We waited.

River used the edge of his palm to roughly wipe at his tears. “You know how Mom started dating that guy at the beginning of the school year?”

“Yeah, he seemed pretty nice. It didn’t last long, though.”

“He broke it off because he couldn’t date someone who supported having a gay kid in the house.”

Clark’s face went from concerned and saddened to red. “Hewhat?”

“Mom started going to church with him. She was already not super comfortable with me being gay.” He sniffled again. “Not like you were. But when she started going to church with him, it got worse.”

“Worse, how?”

“She started saying things, like,”—he gripped his stick—“like she was worried? For my future in heaven?”

Clark’s jaw tightened, but he kept his composure. “And he broke up with her because she didn’t, what? Disown you?”

River nodded, snot dripping from his nose. He made an attempt to wipe it away with his sleeve. “He said that he loved her, but that unless I went to live with you full time, he … he couldn’t be in her life.”

“Did he ever hurt you?” Clark asked carefully. “Or her?”

Staring at the ground, River was quick to answer, “No.No. But Mom was so sad afterward. Devastated. She kept trying to get him back, and he just kept asking, ‘What about your son? What about your son?’ And then she was, like, ‘Do you have to be gay? Are you sure you’ve never been interested in girls?’”

He looked up, his eyes so green against the redness. “I tried, Dad. I tried really hard. I even went on a date with this girl from school, but it didn’t work. It was … I didn’t like it. And then Mom got really bad.”