Page 51 of Breathing Under Water

His mom climbs out from the driver’s side and searches the scene in front of her. She’s dressed in denim shorts and a pale blue tank top, with a bunch of dangly necklaces hanging to the middle of her chest. She’s pretty in a relaxed way, like she doesn’t have to try at all, and I’m suddenly a little embarrassed. I imagine what the yard must look like through her eyes. Enough buyers have come through today that what’s left on display is meager and disjointed. Dishes and nightstands are strewn about the lawn, throw pillows and a few framed watercolors, everything now in disarray. My friends and I have been out in the hot sun for the last three hours, and we’re all disheveled, ponytails crooked and sweat marks on our t-shirts. It’s an awkward way to meet Leo and Beck’s mom for the first time.

She must already think I’m a screwup for the way I let the swim lessons deteriorate. I can’t remember feeling this self-conscious in a long time, and I wish I could hide before his mom lays eyes on me.

But then I notice the expression on Berry’s face—how she looks a little out of sorts too. Leo has just emerged from the passenger side of the car and is saying something to her, but her eyes are vacant as if she doesn’t even know where she is. Iremember something my mom used to tell me when she was sick, that we had to keep in mind we weren’t the only people struggling, and so we had better always be kind. Whatever Leo’s mom is struggling with, it’s not my business. But I wonder.

I make my way over to the car and wave a hand at Leo. He doesn’t wave back as the two of them come forward to greet me at the edge of the yard.

His mom speaks first.

“Forgive us for showing up unannounced,” she says. “Harrison mentioned you were having a garage sale, and Leo, well, I suppose he wanted to come see his friend in action.” She glances at the slim pickings behind me. “Looks like you’ve been making out like a bandit, huh?”

“I’m so glad you guys came. It’s great to finally meet you in person, Mrs. Becker.”

“Please, call me Berry or I’ll feel a million years old.”

“I’ve never been to a garage sale,” Leo says, looking toward the house behind me. “But this house doesn’t have a garage.”

I smile. “Well, you don’t really need a garage. It’s just what people call it when they sell their personal belongings and housewares from right outside their homes. You could call it a yard sale or a tag sale too. The phrases and expressions people use don’t always make perfect sense, but we just try to get used to them anyway.”

“Yes, exactly,” Berry says as she appraises me.

Leo nods and starts looking around at the items on display.

“But why would people buy any of this?” he asks. “I wouldn’t want any of these things. It looks like a bunch of old junk.”

“Leo!” Berry admonishes him. “It’s not nice to say negative things about other people’s belongings.”

“No, Berry, it’s fine.” I smile, and since Leo might not understand the facial cue, I clarify. “I kind of agree with you, Leo. All the nicest things sold pretty quickly. I don’t think anyone’s going to want what’s left. These items are probably only special to me now, but I don’t have any use for them anymore.” We all survey the yard for a moment longer, and the vibe feels so somber I can hardly bear it. Forcing cheer into my voice, I say, “But come, meet my friends.”

I reach out for Leo’s arm to bring him over to where Lark and Amber are sitting, but he jerks away before I make contact.

“Sorry, Leo. I forgot myself.”

Before he can respond, Rae comes bounding over.

“Is this the all-time famous and epic Leo?” she asks, and I’m reminded of how Beck called me famous when we met too.

“I’m not famous,” Leo says in his monotone cadence.

Rae doesn’t skip a beat. “But youareLeo, aren’t you?”

“Epic Leo,” he says with a little lift of his lip. “I like that.”

Berry has stepped a few feet away from us, and I can tell she’s trying to give Leo space to interact without her hovering. Something about her feigned disinterest makes me miss my mom so fiercely in that moment. I glance over at my friends, who are all calling out to Leo to come introduce himself, and I remind myself again that family can come in many different forms. With these girls in my corner, I still have something special.

“Come on, epic Leo,” I say. “Let me introduce you to the others.”

25

Berry

July 2023

We’re almost back to the house when Leo asks me, “Do you think we should have a garage sale, like McKenna? We have a garage at our house, so we could do it the way you’re supposed to. Would people want to buy our junk?”

Back when I was a kid, growing up on the other side of the Island, we used to have lots of yard sales. My family needed every extra penny we could get. Years ago, after the boys outgrew all their baby gear and toys, I suggested doing a yard sale so we could recoup a tiny percentage of the veritable fortune we’d spent on baby supplies over the years, but Phil said it wasn’t necessary. Then he dropped a comment about it being trashy, lugging all your belongings onto your lawn for the whole neighborhood to see. That was pretty much the end of my experience with secondhand sales.

“Do you have things you’d like to sell?” I ask Leo, wondering if this is just his general idolization of McKenna. After seeing how she’s managing so much on her own, and how well she communicates with Leo, I don’t blame him for thehero worship. I’m glad for him to have connected with another person he can look up to.