Page 112 of Under Pressure

“No. Gotta be fast, though.”

I feel her nod. “Fast.”

Her tiny hand wraps around my cock and gives it a few strokes. I’m dripping down the shaft and into her grip. She uses it all as lube before guiding me to her core. Already so, so wet, her pussy welcomes me without even the hint of resistance. I tighten my grip on her waist and help her sink another few inches.

“Oh, fuck,” she breathes, her back arching into me. Her heat envelops me, squeezing me deeper. “We don’t have a condom.”

I knuckle her hair away from her cheek before cupping it. She presses her forehead to mine, and our eyes meet, a silent agreement weaving between us to not look away. No matter what.

“Stop or keep going?” I rasp.

Her lips part against mine, sipping my breath. “Keep going.”

With a small press of my hips, I fill her completely. She bites on my lip, tugging on it as our gazes hold and she seats herself on my lap. My eyes threaten to cross at the inferno raging in my groin, but I focus on her. The air is tight around us, making a bubble of privacy that I know doesn’t make sense.

We’re crossing a boundary here, and not only because we’re having sex in the bullpen or that, despite my vote of confidence, we could be found. It’s the lack of open communication that’s the most dangerous. There’s too much at stake here to be this risky. So why can neither of us pull away?

I let her see how fucking in love with her I am as I stroke her back and rock her forward. Her breath skips, and she clings to me, pulling me closer instead of away. There’s no space left between us. I ache to look inside her head and the thumping organ hidden deep in her chest. The boundaries make me hold her tighter, fear swelling in my throat.

“You’re mine,” I declare, voice weak, grated. “Say it.”

She trembles, eyelids falling to half-mast. I shake my head and curve my hand along the back of her head.

“Say it, Quinn.” I snap my hips up, and she cries out in bliss, her pussy quivering around my shaft. “You know it’s the truth. You can feel it as much as I can. Why are you holding back?”

Her nails prick my neck, then the sensitive skin beneath my shirt. “I—You don’t really want that.”

“Like fuck I don’t,” I growl. I’m no longer moving, my hips frozen. “Don’t lie to yourself.”

“You don’t even know me. Not enough to have made that decision.”

The mood sours. I press my head against the wall, needing to not be touching her face. “I know enough.”

“No, you don’t.”

When she pulls off and retreats, I don’t try to stop her. I force my numb limbs to cover myself up, not making any effort to stand. There’s a deep ache in my chest that’s growing by the second. Not even rubbing at it helps.

Her beautiful eyes are closed off, the opening I’d found gone as quickly as it had come. “If you knew half of the things I haven’t told you yet, you wouldn’t be here looking at me like that. You wouldn’t want me as badly. I’m not—I’m not like the other women you’ve been with. There’s too much?—”

“I love you.”

She crumples. It’s the opposite of the reaction I’d been hoping for. Of what I’d dreamed of.

“Don’t say that right now.”

“Why? Because it scares you?”

“Of course it scares me.Youscare me!”

“Andallof this terrifies me. I’ve fallen in love with you, and you’re standing here telling me that it’s a mistake and looking like you want to throw up,” I croak, not bothering to hide the hurt shredding my insides. “Is falling in love with me really that bad? Have I been this fucking blind believing that you’d give me a real chance?”

She flinches. So do I.

My words don’t stop.

“I want this to be real. I need it to be. No more pretending for Ruthie or acting like we aren’t already dating despite not using the title. You don’t do the things we do with someone you aren’t in a relationship with. Love doesn’t feel like this when you’re just having fun. It feels like I can’t exist without you, Quinn. When I was gone, all I could think about was you. I wondered if you were working too hard and if you’d gotten enough sleep the night before. Baseball was the last of my concerns, and it’s been that way since the day I found Blank Page.”

I need to get this out before I drown in everything I’ve kept inside.