Page 82 of Defend Her Heart

She reaches her hand out to me again and squeezes my arm. “No, it’s a great idea. I know it didn’t end well the first time, but you were just kids. You’re both adults now and have better heads on your shoulders. Tell me what’s been going on and why you think it’s such a bad idea.”

I replay the moment at his apartment earlier this morning and every moment that came before that. The kiss. The tilt table test. The way he’s researched and knows just as much about POTS as I do now. The way he looks at me.

“The way he kissed me at the courthouse?—”

Sadie’s eyes bulge and she chokes on her bloody mary. “Sorry. Wrong pipe. You kissed?”

I can almost feel his lips pressed against mine when I close my eyes every night. It’s all I think about when I’m alone. I bring my finger up to my lips as I remember the way it felt.

“We did. And it was perfect. And he’s been so amazing, researching POTS and advocating for me, even when I don’t ask him to. He sends me food because he knows I get lost in my work and forget to eat sometimes. He redid an entire guest bedroom for me in my favorite color.”

Sadie’s smile stretches across her entire face. “I’m not seeing why this is such a bad idea. He clearly still has feelings for you. And by the blush creeping up your neck, I think the feeling is mutual.”

I bury my face in my hands. She’s right. I have a crush on my ex-boyfriend.

Looking up at her, I ask, “What if it doesn’t work out again? I was barely able to put myself together after the last time he left me.”

Sadie tilts her head, her smiling shrinking but still there.

“In the words of the man I love, but what if it does work?”

Life has not been kind to me over the past couple of years. I’ve been conditioned to always see and think the worst ofpeople. I’ve been through so much, so many people and even my own body letting me down, I stopped being optimistic. Sitting here with Sadie and thinking about everything she has done for me, everything Connor and Katie and the entire Bobcats organization has done for me, maybe this chapter doesn’t have to end tragically.

Maybe, just maybe, I can get my happy ending after all.

I smile at Sadie, my cheeks hurting from the intensity of it.

“All right, Sades. I’m in. If life really is giving me another shot at love, I really don’t want to fuck this one up. I’m gonna need your help.”

She raises her bloody mary glass, and I grab my water, lifting it to hers.

“Project second-chance romance starts now. Let’s get you your man back.”

The door to the apartment closes shut, but I keep my eyes on the puzzle in front of me. Whatever happened between Avery and me earlier clearly startled her because she ran out of here so fast I could barely understand the words she tossed my way on her way out. My instincts were shouting at me to chase after her, but I can understand why this situation might have freaked her out a little bit. First, she walks back into my life after years of no contact—totally my fault, but still. Then we get married and even though it’s fake, I kind of wish it wasn’t. And now she’s staying with me while her roommate is out of town. I can’t make this shit up.

It’s totally understandable why she needed some space. Now that she’s back, I’m still unsure of how she’s feeling. So, instead of checking in on her like my brain is telling me, I focus on the puzzle of the Northern Lights I’ve been working on for the past few days. Although I love living alone, now that my best friend has found his person, and we’re spending less time hanging out, I find myself antsy some nights. Hence, the new hobby of puzzles I discovered.

I grab a piece and attempt to attach it to the area I’m working on but it doesn’t quite fit. Okay, so I’mnot that great at completing them yet, but I’ll get there. I hear the sounds of Avery hanging her bag up and kicking her shoes off. All of my senses are on high alert as I wait to see what she does next. I’m pretending to scan the pieces, but all of my attention is on the pitter-patter of her footsteps as they inch closer to where I’m working.

“I didn’t know you were a puzzle guy.” Avery rests her hand on the back of my chair and peers down at the mess of a workspace I have. Only the border and some random pieces are together right now. She reaches down and grabs a piece with the tail of a shooting star and connects it with the area I’ve been struggling with for a half hour.

“Damn. You don’t want to know how long I’ve been looking for that one.” I look up at her and we exchange smiles. “Want to join me?”

“Sure.”

Avery sits down in the seat next to me, and I’m hyperaware of just how close we’re sitting to each other when she reaches out for another piece and her arm brushes my shoulder in the process. It’s barely anything, a whisper of warmth through the fabric of my shirt, but it’s enough to wreck my concentration completely.

I try to refocus on the puzzle, but it’s pointless. Because now I’m just waiting for it again. Anticipating the next time she might find a piece and brush her arm against mine. It finally comes again, slower this time, and my fingers tighten around the piece I’m holding.

Does she notice it, too? Is she doing it on purpose?

Instead of leaning away, I lean into it—just a tiny bit. I’m testing the waters and I don’t know if I’m going to sink or swim here but there’s only one way to find out.

Avery snaps a piece into place, but reaches even farther in search of a new one. She’s even closer now, the sweet smell of her shampoo invading my space. This time, I turn to look at her. For a second, I simply watch her. The way her eyes squintas she focuses on the puzzle. The way she nibbles on her lower lip, darting her tongue out in concentration. And when she pulls her arm back, she doesn’t set it in her lap like before. She keeps it pressed against mine and then she finally looks at me, too.

Our faces are inches apart now. Close enough that I can see the exact moment her breath hitches and then parts her lips like she wants to say something.

Everything else—the puzzle, the room, the conflicting voices in my head—fades away. It’s just her. And she’s looking at me like she can feel it too. This gravitational pull that’s been here since the minute she walked back into my life.