Page 88 of His Contract Queen

She’s watching the fire now, fingers loosely intertwined in her lap. “I was… hoping maybe it meant I’d finally have a friend who understands.”

“Understands what?” I ask, though I already have a suspicion.

Her eyes flick back to mine. “What it means to love someone bound to the Iron Pact.”

The Iron Pact.

So that’s what they call themselves.

The name fits.

Alina lifts one hand and gestures vaguely through the air before letting out a laugh that sounds lighter than it feels. “There’s… a lot that comes with it.”

I notice the small pinch forming between her brows, the uncertainty flickering in her expression.

“Being on the outside of it can be overwhelming,” she continues quietly. “The waiting. The not knowing.” Her gaze drifts toward the doorway Sasha disappeared through. “The nights you lie awake wondering if every goodbye might be the last one.”

My brow pulls together slightly.

“The fear,” she goes on, voice steady but softer now, “that one day, he’ll walk out the door and simply… never walk back in.”

There’s a tremor beneath her words that is small, almost invisible. But I recognize it immediately. I can’t say I’m surprised to hear being with someone involved in the Iron Pact comes with that kind of constant worry.

So far, I haven’t had to face any of that. My time with Aleksandr has been… something else entirely. Antagonism that burned into something hotter. Danger that turned into passion and obsession. Between spying on him and falling for him, I never had time to sit down and consider what a future with him might actually look like.

Now that Alina has said it out loud, though… the thought settles heavily in my chest.

Can I handle loving a man who might walk out the door one day and never come back?

Alina suddenly laughs nervously, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to dump all of this on you. We just met. I shouldn’t be freaking you out.”

“It’s okay,” I tell her honestly. Then I sigh. “Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it.”

Her eyes lift back to me, her head tilting slightly in a silent gesture for me to continue.

I suck in a breathe before blowing it out quickly. “I was so consumed with trying to take him down that the rest of my future didn’t really occur to me.”

Her head tilts slightly. “Take… him down?”

“Yeah,” I mumble. The guilt twists deeper in my stomach now that I’m saying it out loud. “My father told me Aleksandr was a threat to national security and needed to be taken down from the inside.”

Alina’s eyes widen dramatically.

I pick at a loose thread on the couch cushion, avoiding eye contact with her. “So I showed up at his estate under false pretenses and tried to spy on him.”

When I glance up, her hand has flown up to cover her mouth as her jaw drops. “Wow.”

I wince. “I know. Listen, at the time I honestly believed I was doing the right thing for my country. And… I mean, technically, I guess I would be if I actually turned him in. These guys are involved in a lot of shady stuff.”

Alina lowers her hand slowly. A small smile tugs at her lips. “Yes. Though, sometimes, it takes getting your hands a little dirty to keep everyone else in line.”

I run my hands through my hair, trying to shake off the heavy feeling sitting in my chest. “It’s kind of fucked up but… I feel bad about what I did. I know I had every reason to think I was justified. But it’s hard when I have feelings for him.”

Then Alina laughs, the sound soft and genuine. “Trust me, I’ve done my share of questionable things for love. I lied to Sasha for months when we first met. I kept secrets that could have gotten us both killed. I chose him even when every rational part of me screamed to run.” She pauses, her smile turning wry. “This life isn’t for the faint of heart, Katerina. It will break you in ways you can’t predict. But you have the spine for it. I can see it. If you want this—if you wanthim—then take it. Trust me, it’s worth it.”

A silence falls over us after that. Not uncomfortable, exactly, just thoughtful.

I find my eyes drifting down to my hands where they rest in my lap.