Page 43 of Dichotomy

Her eyes glistened, and I scooted around the table until I could tuck her under my arm.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

She snorted. “How could I not? Marcus, that was…” She trailed off, and I patiently waited for her to gather her thoughts. “Everything,” she said. “I know relationships are about continued work and communication, but I don’t think I realized how many uncertainties I still had.”

“Uncertainties that I caused,” I guessed.

She shrugged but didn’t correct me.

“I harbored crushes on all of you for years,” she confessed. “Not just because you’re all attractive men, but because you’regoodmen, and I…I don’t see a lot of good men in my line of work. But you were always untouchable; not just because you were my bosses but because of the weight of the secrets I carried. I didn’t ever want my broken pieces to cut you.”

“You’re assuming that we’re not all a little broken too, sweetheart,” I argued. “You keep talking about how you’re broken and have all these sharp edges, but you’re not the only one with jagged pieces. Adrian saw way more shit in the military than I ever did, and I saw a lot of shit. Alexander takes on the weight of the world, and he’s always been protecting us to the point he forgets about himself. Sebastian is obsessive and tries to hide his dark side. My point is, we all have shit. We’re all a little broken. But our broken pieces fit together.”

“I want to believe that,” she said.

“We’ll spend the rest of our lives proving that to you. And I know I speak for all of us when I say that.”

She nodded, spending a few more moments tucked against me before she pulled away. “Should we try the throwing stars next?”

I accepted her change of subject. “I’ve been itching to try the knives,” I admitted.

We kept the bet going but kept the questions light. All too soon, the hours had passed, and our time at the throwing alley came to an end. I didn’t want the night to end, but as we walked back to the car, Evelyn reached for my hand, and I felt like I could conquer the world.

We were going to be okay. This was going to work. It had to.

I couldn’t lose her.

CHAPTER 19

EVELYN

Iwas horny.

There, I admitted it. Even if it was a strange thing to admit to myself. Strange to me, at least.

But how could I not be? There was nothing sexier to me than trusting someone, and after Marcus had peeled back layers of his life for me tonight, I wanted to jump his bones. Watching his arm muscles flex all night throwing axes hadn’t helped either. And now with the heat of his palm enveloping mine, I was struggling to come up with reasons why I shouldn’t invite him into my apartment.

“Everything okay?” he murmured in my ear as we entered the elevator to their—our—building.

“Just lost in thought,” I murmured back, willing my cheeks not to heat as the elevator rose smoothly. He stood close to me, the heat of his body radiating outwards, and I shivered.

“Cold?” he asked, moving closer and wrapping his arm around my waist.

Cold? The opposite, actually. I was burning up as the elevator swiftly rose to our floor. I wanted to invite him in, to connect with him in a way we haven’t before, but I couldn’t force the words out of my mouth. Our relationship felt like it had takena big step forward tonight, and I wanted to stay in that bubble. Would I ruin it if I invited him in? Would he even want to come in? He said he wanted this for the long haul, but there was still a part of me that had been hurt by his actions over the last few months, even if the logical part of me understood. Plus, I had a hard time initiating sex. I really didn’t have much experience with it prior to the guys. I had read enough smut books that I had an idea of what I liked and didn’t like, and what I liked was for someone to take charge in the bedroom. But trusting someone enough to do that? I didn’t have that before the guys, and it was still new to me.

The elevator dinged as it arrived on our floor, and the doors slid open. Adrian’s eyes widened as he stood in the hallway, keys in hand, like he was about to open his front door. He smiled warmly at us.

“Hey, how was the date?”

Seeing Adrian, an idea sprung into my head, and I acted on it before I gave myself time to think it through. “It was great. Do you want to come in and have a drink with us?”

He studied me, then lifted his gaze to Marcus behind me. A silent conversation passed between them before he nodded. “A drink sounds great.”

Adrian approached, and both men flanked me as I fumbled to get my keys out of my jacket pocket. Marcus’s hand was warm on my back, and I sucked in a shaky breath of their pine and vetiver scents. My hands shook slightly as I slid the key into the lock.

Holy fuck, had I just invited them both in? Inviting them in didn’t mean I had to have sex with them, but I wanted to. I think. No. I did want to. I just hadn’t thought I would have my first threesome tonight. I mean, dating four men meant it was bound to happen sooner or later. And I would be lying if I said I hadn’t fantasized about both Marcus and Adrian at the sametime over the years. Fuck, I was all over the place. I needed to calm down. Maybe they wouldn’t even want to have sex tonight. Consent from all parties was important, and all I had done so far was invite them in.

Chilly air enveloped us as we entered my apartment. “Oops, I forgot I cranked down the AC after my workout this morning,” I said, rubbing a hand over my face. The fancy apartment cooled down quickly, and now that the sun was down, it was freezing in here.