Page 15 of A Taste of Paradise

And taken with Dee’s warning not to allow herself to be taken in by another lost soul, she wasn’t sure how to feel.

‘You know, I still can’t believe it’s happened.’

Since they’d started their stroll from the hotel, he hadn’t said much. Neither had she. It was hard to find the right words for comfort. She could only imagine how devastated he must be still.

‘It’s so … surreal,’ he continued as he turned to her. Their gazes met and the only word Lily could find to describe his expression was … lost. He was a man whose footing had been toppled when the rug had been so abruptly yanked from beneath his feet.

Now he didn’t know up from down. She could appreciate that feeling. It was one she and her mother understood all too well.

And perhaps also why she was so keen to help with the fallout any way she could.

‘No one would expect you to,’ she comforted. ‘It was a shock.’

‘I don’t know if it was though,’ he mumbled, and her brow furrowed in confusion.

‘I don’t understand.’

Shaking his head, Shay turned his gaze away and focused on the ocean. It was a cloudless evening and the water was a brilliant aquamarine that deepened to cobalt near the horizon.

‘What’s there to understand? I’m a fool. I’ve been a fool for a long time. I should have known this would happen, but I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to believe it.’

The expression on his face when his gaze met hers was a mask, but Lily could see his true feelings seeping out from the cracks. He was trying to be impassive, but his anger was evident and it wasn’t even directed at what his fiancée had done, more at himself.

‘Do you know what my family said when I told them she’d broken things off? And that they didn’t need to travel after all?’ She didn’t respond but instead allowed him to offload. ‘They said they weren’t surprised.’ He laughed scornfully. ‘Can you believe that? They never really thought Sarah and me were that good a fit. But they waited until she’d made a fool of me, stomped on my heart and tossed it aside to tell me that.’

Lily had to admit that she too had an inkling of something off kilter throughout their correspondence leading up to the wedding, but she truly hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

‘They’re your family. I’m sure deep down they wanted to believe they were wrong, and that things would work out for you both. And I’d imagine they had your best interests at heart and didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news either,’ she offered in excuse, more for herself than his family in Ireland. ‘Sometimes people honestly don’t know the right thing to say. Or more to the point, if they’re right to say it.’

Shay stared at her in silence for some time before a deep breath leaked out. ‘I know. I’m not angry at them. Not really,’ he admitted with a sigh. ‘I’m angry at myself.’

‘Why though?’ Lily countered. ‘Sarah left. You’re here. And why should you feel bad for loving her?’

He remained silent, though his dark-brown eyes seemed to be raptly studying her as if searching for answers she couldn’t give.

‘Hey, I don’t really know Sarah,’ Lily added then. ‘In person, I mean. I did however get to know you during the six months we’ve been planning, and I can honestly say I have never encountered a guy who cared so much about what his bride wanted. The level of detail and the attention you paid to even the smallest thing she’d ever said she wanted …’ she sighed a little, as the words came out in a rush. ‘It was kind of enviable actually. I’ve been doing this stuff for a long time and take my word for it, Shay, you didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘Yeah, I did. I planned for something I knew in my heart wasn’t meant to be. I lied to myself that I was enough for a woman like Sarah. That what I wanted, she did too. I pretended that I wasn’t seeing what I was or noticing the signs.’

‘Hey, we’re all guilty of being blind sometimes. It doesn’t mean—’

‘No. It’s more than that. She never had any input into the wedding really, did she? I told myself and you that it was because she has a demanding job.’ He scoffed. ‘I have three sisters, Lily; there’s no way one of them was getting married and not hovering over every detail. When my oldest sister married a couple of years ago, I thought she was going to lose her mind with the way she pondered over every little wedding-related decision. Whereas Sarah didn’t even want to pick out her own bouquet. I mean, really, what kind of gobshite doesn’t realise that your bride-to-be isn’t exactly enthused about being married to you if she can’t even be bothered to pick out her own flowers?’ His voice rose steadily with each passing word.

Lily knew to tread carefully. His emotions were still so raw, and as much as she wanted to assure him that he was probably right, she knew from experience that sometimes it took a while for the person to see that for themselves. He had to go through the process of healing, and anger was part of it.

Even if she believed it was misplaced.

‘You knew it too, didn’t you?’ Shay stated then and she didn’t know how to answer, though her lack of response was reply enough. ‘Of course you did,’ he continued in a tone so low that his words seemed to loom over them. ‘You said yourself, you’ve been doing this for a long time. You would have to know. Recognise the signs. Why didn’t you say anything?’

Lily couldn’t look at him. ‘Because it wasn’t any of my business. And to be completely honest, I wanted to be wrong,’ she confessed, finding her voice finally. She took a deep breath and continued. ‘Look, you’re a really nice guy. And I don’t say that to make you feel better, I say that because I believe it. I like to think that I got to know you somewhat during the build-up to all this, and the person I was working with deserved his dream. He deserved the happy ending he wanted. I couldn’t possibly be the one to tell you that something felt … off.’

Shay’s jaw flinched slightly, but she continued. ‘I wanted to be wrong, that maybe I was underestimating Sarah, that she really was too busy and stressed. And I don’t know why I’m saying this now, because it is against everything I should do as a professional, but like I said, I feel that you’ve become a friend, so I can’t lie to you either.’

Silence closed in around them, and instead of providing a shoulder to cry on, now Lily was afraid she may have made things worse. Worried he now thought her a grasping opportunist who had taken advantage of him for her own gains, when she could have spared him all the hassle, embarrassment, and indeed expense by telling him the truth.

‘I didn’t think you were, or at least I hope you weren’t that kind of person,’ Shay stated, breaking the silence. ‘And I didn’t mean to make you feel bad either. Not going to lie; I considered that you may have suspected and simply didn’t bother to tell me. I knew you weren’t the type to be purely concerned with taking my money, and figured that becoming a friend was just something you did to get to know your clients better. I had pretty much convinced myself of it the other night too. I was certain I wouldn’t see you for dust again once I told you the wedding was off.’ He chuckled bitterly for a moment, and then he stopped. ‘And now when I hear that you’ve been working so hard to salvage something out of the wreckage, I can’t tell you how grateful I am.’

She shrugged. ‘It’s like what I said, I suppose … I also consider you a friend of sorts and would love to be – have been – a guest at your wedding. And …’ Lily continued in the vein of honesty, ‘ … since I’m the only person you know on the island, I’m going to do everything I can to help you out.’