Page 21 of Falling Again

“Lunch on me sometime then,” Pam beams and pulls me into a hug. Pam is a hugger and as a fellow hugger, it delights me to no end to return the squeeze. “Are you kids hungry?” Pam asks and turns to the rest of my friends.

“What’s for dinner?” Reid asks.

“Homemade pizza!” Sean says. “The dough should be finished rising, and we are going to do a wine tasting with all the bottles people brought us.”

“You’re going to open all the bottles?” Tyler asks as he stands up from where he’s been sitting against the wall. His voice is gravelly but I’m not sure anyone else noticed but me. He loosened up considerably when Reid and Annika arrived, and we began chatting about work, pets, and various other subjects. It was a relief to see him at ease again—and without all that smoldering focus on me.

“Well, we could just open one and maybe end up with something we don’t like. Or we could open them all, give them each a try like we are at a winery, and each of you can take home your favorites.”

“Sounds good to me!” Annika says.

Everyone starts to file out of the room except Tyler who hangs back, fiddling with something on his sweater. I am last to exit as Tyler grabs my arm and my eyes fly up to meet his. His jaw is clenched tight but his eyes are soft, pleading.

“Chlo…thanks, for earlier.” He clears his throat. “No one has ever—I have never…thanks.” Tyler eases his grip on my arm and gently squeezes before releasing.

I look up at him for a moment and I desperately want to break down this wall he’s put up. A part of me wants to shut the door and throw my arms around him. I want to feel his body heat against mine again and press my lips to his. I want to melt into him and break down the barrier between us. I want to take away whatever has dimmed his light. And yet, another part of me wants to put up a wall of my own. I’m afraid to let another person in on my own baggage I’m carrying around. I decide on the latter and give him a tight smile, pat his arm once and say, “That’s what friends are for.” I leave the room before I do something I might regret.

EIGHT

CHLOE

THEN

Annika and I quietly enter her house and tiptoe upstairs without her mom hearing us. Margot went to the principal shortly after the lunch drama and claimed that Annika had spilled the yogurt on purpose, which led to Annika being taken out of class. The principal said they called her mom and told her about the incident. Annika stood her ground, saying it was an accident and that Nico could vouch for her. But apparently, Margot texted her mom, who was already there, to yell at the principal. Neither Anni nor I have ever had the principal call our parents because of our acting out at school, so we aren’t sure how her parents will react.

We retreat inside Annika’s room and close the door. Annika throws her backpack on her bed and then collapses onto it. I immediately notice that all my things that are usually here are missing. The second mattress is tucked away, and there are no traces of my pillows or blankets. My makeup kit is gone, and all my clothes and shoes are missing.

“Hey, where’s all my stuff?” I ask.

Annika sits up and looks around. “Oh crap—do you think your mom came and got it?”

“Would Mia even let her do that? Maybe your parents are kicking me out after what happened at school.”

“What? No way! I will scream if they do. I will move in with you if that’s the case.”

I can feel my face contort. I don’t want Annika to move to my mom’s house with me, and I don’t even want to be there as it is. An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach as I sit beside Annika on her bed. She grabs a few magazines from her side table and hands me one. I mindlessly flip through the pages of fashion models, trying to ignore the unwanted feelings.

A quiet knock stills us. Her bedroom door creaks open, and Mia peeks into the room.

“Hey, girls. Chloe, I have a surprise to show you. Can you two come with me?”

We toss the magazines and follow Mia out. I have no clue what the surprise could be. I go through a million ridiculous scenarios in my head. Mia leads us down the hall to the door at the end, which opens into a room used for storage and a makeshift office. Sometimes, we use this room to do homework if we need a quiet space, and Mia stores a few of her craft supplies and seasonal decorations there.

Mia opens the door, and the room is transformed. There’s no longer a big, bulky desk or mountains of boxes. Instead, it looks like a sweet little guest room—a twin bed to the left and a pink-and-white checkered rug on the floor. A small yellow desk is on the opposite side, and a sunflower cup with pens and pencils sits on top. I step inside and turn around to see a dresser with my makeup and books neatly arranged. Mia opens the closet, and all my clothes are hung up, and my shoes are organized in a rack on the floor. I walk over to the bed and sit down. On the side table is a little clock and a photo of Annika and me from middle school. We had just graduated from eighth grade, and Mia took us to get our nails done. We have big smiles and are flashing our freshly manicured hands.

I turn around and see Mia with her arm around Annika. Annika’s eyes are glassy, which makes me cry. I instinctively look around for somewhere to retreat, but Mia comes up and pulls me into her arms. I quietly sob against her body while she caresses my hair.

“We wanted you to have your own space, so you always know you are welcome here. You belong here,” she says. “I talked to your mom, and she said it was all right. She wants you to be happy.” The mention of my mom makes me release another sob. I haven’t seen her in over a week. I feel the guilt like I owe it to her. I don’t believe my mom said those things to Mia. She hasn’t even tried to reach out to me at all.

“Does she miss me?” I can’t help but ask, pulling back from Mia and wiping my tears away.

“Of course. We can stop by tomorrow if you want to bring anything else. Or we can pick up anything from the store. Feel free to make any adjustments you’d like. Make yourself at home.” I nod; seeing my mom and ensuring she’s doing okay might be a good idea. I wonder if she feels as lonely as I do sometimes.

“I’ll let you two hang out; dinner will be ready in an hour.” Mia gives Annika a stern look before leaving.

“Oh gosh, she knows!” Annika flings herself on the guest bed—my bed.

“Of course she knows. The principal said he called her.”