Page 42 of Book Bae

The tender look of awe in his eyes that had replaced that look of frustration touched my heart.

I took his hand and placed it on the spot where I had just felt her kick. We sat like that for almost a minute. “Oh, well, I guess she’s settled down,” I declared and prepared to remove his hand.

Just as he lifted it, she kicked again. “Ohh! Right there.” I hurriedly placed his hand in the spot she kicked, just as she did it again.

Micaiah’s eyes twinkled with awe as he felt our baby move around inside of me. I placed my hand over his and stared at him as he closed his eyes and kept his hand there long after she finished.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, and I saw nothing but pain and bitterness there. It caught me off guard because I’d never seen that look in his eyes.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

He widened his eyes and tilted his head back briefly, closing his eyes again. I squeezed his knee and rubbed his arm. When he looked at me again, he wore a smile, and the look of pain had disappeared.

“I didn’t get to have this with Malachi.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a long story, but I don’t want to miss a thing about this baby, Myraj. I want to be involved in every moment of her creation.”

Although I briefly wondered if his missing so much of his ex’s pregnancy with Malachi was part of the flaws I knew he must have, I ignored that thought and focused on the here and now. I smiled at him and hesitantly placed my hand against his cheek. He leaned into my palm and closed his eyes. I wasn’t sure what Malachi’s mom had done, but she had clearly created a wound in his beautiful soul, one that I wondered if it would ever heal.

“Micaiah, what did you mean by shared custody earlier?” I asked after he returned to his seat on the opposite side of the table.

“I work from home, and I’m willing to have our daughter three days out of the week or even on the weekends. It’s important that I play a major part in her life.”

“I don’t—don’t know, Micaiah. I cannot imagine not being with my baby every day. How soon are you thinking about this occurring?”

“I know babies need their mothers in the beginning.”

“Yeah. I was planning to breastfeed.”

“We can work something out. I wasn’t thinking before six months old.”

I was still uncomfortable, but I decided we could cross that bridge when it came.

ONE WEEK LATER

“She was temptation like a muthafucka. Fine as hell. Standing in front of me with wet pussy dripping, how was I supposed to say no?” –Heart of Stone, MJ Stone

“I’ll see you guys next month,” Dr. Rose stated as she walked us to the reception desk so that Myraj could schedule her next prenatal visit.

I stood behind her as my mind filled with the beauty of what was taking shape in my life. Karen kept me at a distance with her pregnancy, and I often felt disconnected. I had no idea why she was behaving that way until after Malachi had been born.

She was working hard to hide truths from me that would have had me hitting the ceiling if I’d known. Whenever I thought about the bullshit that she was on, I got angry all over again.

“Are you ready?” Myraj asked when she turned to me after she had scheduled her next appointment.

“Yeah.”

“Here, put this in your phone.”

She handed me an appointment card, and I checked the date. I added it to my phone’s calendar as we walked out of the doctor’s office to my car.

“Where do you want to eat?” I asked as I strapped her seat belt around her.

She smiled graciously up at me and shrugged. “I’m good with whatever.”