Page 120 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

"I've been thinking about something, Annette."

She glances over.

"That can be dangerous, what is it?"

I watch my boots leave prints in the fresh snow.

"When I was a kid..."

I pause.

"I couldn't wait to play hockey."

She waits.

No interruption.

No encouragement.

Just...

space.

"Then hockey became everything."

"My schedule."

"My friends."

"My summers."

"My winters."

"My job."

"My purpose."

I let out a breath that clouds the cold air.

"I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way...I stopped knowing who I was without it."

The words settle between us. Neither of us moves. Neither of us rushes to rescue the other.

Finally, she asks quietly, "Who were you before hockey?"

I search for the answer. I honestly do.

Images flicker through my mind and I shake my head.

"I honestly don't remember."

The admission hangs in the cold air. It's the most vulnerable thing I've said to anyone in years.

Annette doesn't try to fill the silence. She simply walks beside me.

After several steps she speaks.

"Maybe..."