Page 131 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

I have a feeling this might be one of them.

***

We walk through the light snowfall. The hospital is behind us, and the parking lot is quiet. I mumble, almost to myself: "I know how to be Captain Walker."

A few more steps. "I'm just not sure anybody wants to meet the guy underneath."

Annette doesn't answer immediately. She watches a young father tossing a snowball to a toddler, then she looks back at me.

Very quietly she says: "Maybe the people who matter..."

A pause. "...have been hoping to meet Jamie all along."

Silence. I don’t answer. Because...I can't.

Nobody has ever suggested that before.

Not coaches.

Not reporters.

Not sponsors.

Not even teammates.

Everyone has wanted Captain Walker.

Annette is the first person who has ever wanted Jamie. I look down at the snow. Then smile a tiny smile. "You make everything sound possible."

She smiles back, Takes another few steps. "I just think you've spent so long trying to become the captain..."

She looks at me. "...that you forgot the captain became someone worth admiring because he was Jamie first."

***

Back in the quiet of my cabin that afternoon, I don’t open the notebook immediately. I stand at the window looking out over the frozen lake.

The snow is falling. The world is still. I think about the charity skate, about the pressure, and remember Annette's words.

Only then do I open the it.

I keep it very simple:

Today's Win: Didn't let fear make today's decisions.

Someone I Encouraged The older patient who finally reached the top shelf.

Something I'm Grateful For Someone who reminds me that Captain Walker isn't the only part of me worth knowing.

Then my phone buzzes. Not a conversation. Just one text.

Annette: Good luck Saturday, Jamie. Just remember...you don't have to carry the whole rink.

I smile and type: I'll try.

Then immediately delete it. Instead, I write: I'll remember.

Setting the phone down, I gaze out at the lake one last time.