Page 193 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

For the first time, I don't try to explain it away.

I don't call it admiration.

Or friendship.

Or concern for a patient.

It is simply love.

A fresh wave of tears burns behind my eyes.

"Which is exactly why..."

My voice catches. "...I have to let you go."

The sentence hurts so much I almost take it back. But I can't.

Because if I truly love him, I have to believe his life was already full before I arrived.

I cannot let him turn me into one more person he believes he has to take care of.

The thought doesn't bring peace.

Only heartbreak.

***

Slowly, I pull my phone from my pocket.

Jamie's name waits at the top of my recent calls.

One tap.

That's all it will take. I could tell him everything. He would answer before the second ring.

I know he would.

My thumb hovers over his name.

Then very gently I lock the screen.

"Tomorrow," I whisper. "I'll tell you tomorrow."

I slide the phone back into my pocket and snuggle deeper into my blanket nest.

Behind me, the kitchen appliances are perfectly still.

Ahead of me...

Everything is about to change.

Chapter twenty-four

Jamie

The First Lap

I don't sleep much the night before my first skate.