Page 208 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

Normally I would answer immediately.

Instead, I set the phone aside and open Jamie's chart.

The projected discharge plan fills the screen. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Another two weeks. Medical clearance. Independent program.

Follow-up only if needed.

I have written those same recommendations dozens of times for dozens of patients.

Today they feel impossible.

Without thinking, I reopen the calendar on my computer.

Thursday.

Tuesday.

Thursday.

Remaining Therapy Sessions: 8

Yes, now it’s eight. Eight ordinary mornings. Eight cups of coffee that will never happen.

Eight conversations about absolutely nothing that I cannot bear to have again.

A tear lands quietly on the corner of the chart.

I brush it away before anyone can see.

"Annette?"

I look up quickly. Elise stands in the doorway holding another patient's file.

"You all right?"

I force a smile. "Just allergies."

Elise glances toward the window. "In March?"

"I know."

She studies me for another second, clearly unconvinced, but simply hands me the next chart.

"Room three is ready whenever you are."

"Thanks."

As she walks away, I close Jamie's file and slide it carefully into the cabinet.

The drawer clicks shut with a soft metallic sound.

My heart is breaking and soon I’m going to do the same to Jamie. I see no alternative.

For the first time since beginning my career...I wish I could delay someone's recovery.

Not because he isn't ready.