Page 227 of Saving Forever with the Hockey Captain

She studies me for a moment before asking the question I've been avoiding. "Then what are you waiting for?"

My thumb brushes over Jamie's name without opening the message.

"He called yesterday."

"I gathered that."

"I haven't listened."

Mrs. Alvarez's eyebrows rise ever so slightly. "Why?"

Because I'm afraid.

Because if he says goodbye, I'll have to believe him.

Because if he sounds hurt, I'll know I caused it.

Instead, I answer her with the smallest piece of the truth I can manage.

"I don't think I'm ready."

Mrs. Alvarez closes the cabinet door and leans against it. "You know something I've learned after thirty years in rehabilitation?"

I shake my head.

"People rarely feel ready for the moments that change their lives."

A gentle smile touches her face. "They simply decide they're tired of standing still."

The words settle quietly inside me.

Standing still.

Isn't that exactly what I've spent months telling Jamie not to do? Take the next step. Trust the process. Keep moving even when it hurts. Somewhere along the way...I forgot to follow my own advice.

Mrs. Alvarez gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "You don’t have any more appointments today. I'll cover the front desk for the rest of the afternoon."

"I couldn't ask you to—"

"You didn't."

She smiles. "I'm telling you."

Fifteen minutes later, I'm sitting in my car overlooking one of the city lakes where Jamie and I once stopped after grabbing coffee because he'd wanted to watch the ice beginning to melt.

I remember thinking then that spring always looked quiet before it looked beautiful.

My finger hovers over the screen one last time.

Then...

I press play.

Jamie's voice fills the car. Warm. Steady. Achingly familiar.

"Hi, Annette..."

My eyes close instantly. He sounds exactly like himself. No anger. No accusation.